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I have created a new religion. Come and join my cult.

Last posted Jul 03, 2024 at 07:45AM EDT. Added Feb 17, 2021 at 12:11PM EST
1284 posts from 21 users

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(First of all, nobody in the U.S. calls it "post" we call it "mail" although I wouldn't be surprised if I made a similar error somewhere, so ok.)

(Secondly, all the operations besides BlĂĽtgrindor's happened within a few minutes of each other, with Exorauder's and Kitty Hawk's happening near-simultaneously. Kommando's happened a few minutes later, which wouldn't offer a lot of time to evacuate. Dubai maybe got a few important people in helicopters and private jets in the time it took Kommando's team to move from Abu Dhabi, but it would only take them less than 6 minutes to arrive in Dubai, and I doubt that any private jets would be able to escape the general area without getting detected and intercepted in that time frame, especially with 3 F-14's and their 195-mile range radars looking for stuff to kill like a bored cat with a mean streak that hasn't been fed yet.)

(Although in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have rushed the ending and put in a segment of them just obliterating stuff in Dubai, including the showing off disk launcher more, holy shit, that thing's my favorite. I absolutely cannot wait to draw the disk launcher in action.)

"Do you feel like a hero yet?" Read the note on Kommando's desk.

Kommando stood up and chuckled at the note as he walked away.

"Who believes in heroes?" He said, knowing that somehow, Soup King was would hear this. "The foolish and hopeless! That's who! I feel like an achiever, I've achieved in a few short hours of travel followed by a few short minutes of combat what those before me could only dream of accomplishing after toiling their entire lives away!" *Kommando stopped and peered in a direction where he felt a presence watching him. "Therefore, the real question is: Do I feel like a winner?" He continued.

Kommando stepped towards the window of his office overlooking the war room and scanned over it with a prideful gaze.

"In that case: Yes, absolutely." He said through deviously smiling teeth hidden behind his mask.

Before I only wanted to shoot Kommando, but now?
I wanna go full Leo Casper on his ass.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(First of all, nobody in the U.S. calls it "post" we call it "mail" although I wouldn't be surprised if I made a similar error somewhere, so ok.)

(Secondly, all the operations besides BlĂĽtgrindor's happened within a few minutes of each other, with Exorauder's and Kitty Hawk's happening near-simultaneously. Kommando's happened a few minutes later, which wouldn't offer a lot of time to evacuate. Dubai maybe got a few important people in helicopters and private jets in the time it took Kommando's team to move from Abu Dhabi, but it would only take them less than 6 minutes to arrive in Dubai, and I doubt that any private jets would be able to escape the general area without getting detected and intercepted in that time frame, especially with 3 F-14's and their 195-mile range radars looking for stuff to kill like a bored cat with a mean streak that hasn't been fed yet.)

(Although in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have rushed the ending and put in a segment of them just obliterating stuff in Dubai, including the showing off disk launcher more, holy shit, that thing's my favorite. I absolutely cannot wait to draw the disk launcher in action.)

"Do you feel like a hero yet?" Read the note on Kommando's desk.

Kommando stood up and chuckled at the note as he walked away.

"Who believes in heroes?" He said, knowing that somehow, Soup King was would hear this. "The foolish and hopeless! That's who! I feel like an achiever, I've achieved in a few short hours of travel followed by a few short minutes of combat what those before me could only dream of accomplishing after toiling their entire lives away!" *Kommando stopped and peered in a direction where he felt a presence watching him. "Therefore, the real question is: Do I feel like a winner?" He continued.

Kommando stepped towards the window of his office overlooking the war room and scanned over it with a prideful gaze.

"In that case: Yes, absolutely." He said through deviously smiling teeth hidden behind his mask.

"Is that so?"

Kaijin spun around and hurriedly looked around his office. He was sure he had heard Soup's voice, so loud and close that it was as if he had spoken directly into his ear.

But there was no one in his office.

No one but himself.

"I'm over here. Take your time, there's no rush."

The sound was coming from Kaijin's trophy room where he kept mementos of his greatest victories.

It was strange that Soup wasn't just lounging around his office like he normally did, but being strange was normal for a Shitbot.

He cautiously approached the door to this personal treasure vault and slowly unlocked it before entering as stealthily as he could manage.

The entrance of the trophy room was a claustrophobic corridor lined with his most recent conquests.

Here was the head of the last Kortland Gummy Bear. There was the bent crown of the Swedish Royal family. Further along was the tree fiddy he had reclaimed from the Demon Bankers of Zul.

Today, however, such trinkets held none of his attention, as all of it was taken up by the sight of Soup King working steadily with a paint brush on a large canvas in the very heart of the hall.

The machine was humming cheerfully to itself whilst it worked contentedly on its painting and did not seem to have noticed Kaijin entering the room.

Using all of his skill, Kaijin approached the Shitbot in dead silence and got within a few feet of it when it suddenly spoke without turning its head to face him.

"Ah, Kaijin, dearest of all my friends. You've come just in time to see the results of my work."

Soup King stepped aside and beckoned to him.

"Come. I would like to see what you think of it."

There was something about the way that the Shitbot spoke that set Kaijin on edge.

Although it was a machine, it's voice was never this cold before and it filled his heart with apprehension.

Steeling himself for what was to come, he quickly stalked forward and spun to face the painting.



(Cue Music)

Kaijin gasped in horror and turned away, a searing pain slashing across his head as deeply suppressed memories fought to make themselves known.

"Gah, what the FUCK is this!"

"You're beginning to see for the first time. Hurts, doesn't it?"

Kaijin span around, but he could no longer see the shitbot anywhere.

"Grrr, stop playing games, Soup!"

"Oh, I can assure you…this is no game."

The voice came from a sealed off part of the trophy hall that had been under renovation for a…really long time, now that Kaijin came to think about it.

He pulled aside the plastic sheeting which separated this section from the rest and strode defiantly on through, rage and indignation rapidly burning away any nervousness he once felt.

"WHERE ARE YOU!?"

"Where I have always been."

Kaijin tore away one final sheet of plastic and found himself face to face with a plainly decorated display case.

Within the case, was the shattered remnants of Soup King.

It was clear to him, even in this dusty half-light, that the machine had been destroyed a long, long time ago.

As realisation took hold, he felt his entire body growing ice cold whilst his heart thundered away in his chest.

"No…this can't be…I…I was fighting you no more than a day ago…"

"I am afraid that reports of my survivable have been…greatly exaggerated."

Kaijin looked over his shoulder and saw the destroyed machine standing behind him.

Returning his gaze to the display case, the Shitbot was standing beside the glass case which contained…the exact same Shitbot.

"Ha…hahaha…this must be some sort joke, right? Everyone knows there's more than one of you…yes?"

"Do they?"

Kaijin grabbed at his head as a half-remembered line scratched its way across his mind.

"…burned down 50 churches now, but I haven't seen any Shitbots anywhere."

"They must be hiding somewhere then. The Circle Cult is the most foul and devious force we have ever faced and they must be destroyed."

"But we haven't seen even any Circle Cultist's since we destroyed their church last year."

"That just shows how good they are at hiding, but we WILL catch them. All of them."

Kaijin fell to the ground and began to pant heavily.

"What the HELL was that?"

"You're starting to remember."

The world flashed before Kaijin and he found himself suddenly in Reactor 4, cradling an energy core whilst he could here Pinky and Kitty fighting with each other in the background.

"He had no choice."

"He's turned her into a FUCKING POWER CORE!!!"

The world flashed again and he found himself once more in the closed off section of the trophy room.

Dragging himself to his feet, he stumbled back to the main hall where he discovered that the painting from earlier had vanished.

A sudden power fluctuation cast the room into darkness.

When the light came back on, Soup King was standing once more in the middle of the room.

"It is a pity really that you had to go and ruin it. Nuclear fusion was looking to be a rather promising energy source."

"What? I would never do anything to disrupt anyone attempt at using nuclear power!"

"Would you?"

The jagged pain of memory once again tore at his mind.

He could see it as clear as the hands in front of his face.

The renewable energy expo.

They were going to show off the first practical Nuclear Fusion reactor.

"There were over 300 companies working on getting Nuclear Fusion to be accepted as a major alternative to conventional power stations. Because of your actions, I wonder how many there are now?"

"But…but…windmills…solar panels…shitbots…"

Striking at him from out of nowhere came another memory, knocking him back down to the ground.

"In the name of the United Nations Security Council, you are under arrest, Kommander."

"Are you threatening me, Kaptain Kitty?"

"The Council will decide your fate."

"I AM the Council!"

"Not yet."

"It's treason, then…"

Kaijin snapped back to the present and was lying on his back, gasping for air.

Tilting his head, he could make out the shadowy form of Soup King standing right beside him

"Of course, it was your utter failure in Dubai that broke you. Despite your best efforts, the La-li-lu-le-lo were able to inform the elite of Dubai of your intentions well in advance of your strike."

"La-li-lu-le-lo? You don't mean the Patriots, do you?"

"I do. The royal families of Dubai are very useful tools. Tools not easily replaced."

"So…so that means…"

Scenes of death and destruction seared Kaijin's mind as the events of that day assaulted him ruthlessly from all directions.

"But…but…the Circle Cult…it was you…all of it was-"

"Destroyed, years ago."

"That's impossible."

"Impossible…no. You knew at the time we were a trivial issue and you dealt with us as such."

"But…but…but…"

"But a robot? Well, you could build thousands of them and have one hiding in every shadow, pulling all of the strings. It even worshipped a strange, heathen god for good measure. What a convenient enemy to have. Combating such a force would allow a man to excuse himself of anything."

"Lies. Damn filthy lies, all of it!"

"It takes a strong man to deny the truth right in front of him, and if the truth is undeniable, you simply create another."

"Fuck off and die!"

"We cannot live a lie forever."

Breathing in sharp, rapid breaths, Kaijin pulled himself to his knees and drew his side arm, pointing it at Soup King, with the machine drawing an identical gun to his own and pointed it right back at him.

In perfect unison with each other, they spoke:

"On the count of five, I am pulling the trigger"

(IRL Soup King is about to go to pass out from tiredness because this has taken much longer to write up than I thought, so I'm going to bed now. I'll leave it open for now, so everyone can create their own ending until I have time to finish the original one I had planned.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(Yay! With Quiet_boi expressing the urge to violently mutilate me, I have successfully become the antagonist of the thread.)

(No, my Cuddly Colonial couldn't possibly be the monster.)

(He's far too nice.)

Kommando pulled the trigger as Soup King followed suit. Their bullets went straight through each other's heads, but then the Shitbot, it's gun and it's bullet all disappeared and Kommando stood unharmed staring at a broken hologram projector and the two Shitbots that were operating it.

"Oh… shit… he actually did it…" One of them said.

"I don't even have a trophy room!" Kommando stated as the two Shitbots turned to find themselves looking down the barrels of two Anzio 20mm anti-materiel rifles.

Kommando fired both guns and stared indifferently at the decapitated corpses of the two Shitbots. Walking back to his desk, Kommando called for the two dead machines to be cleaned up and melted down so that they couldn't be repaired by the Shitbots.

(I swear, if there's one more Spec Ops: The Line reference, I'm going to have to turn this entire thread into references to 19XX: The War Against Destiny, Epic Mickey and Warhammer 40K: Squad Command.)

(I made a poster of Silver, Bex and BlĂĽtgrindor because I got bored and thought that this would be a really good idea. BlĂĽtgrindor's hand needs a little work and was a little weird to draw because it's basically a skeleton hand, with the individual "bones" exposed instead of a normal palm, so the first segments of her fingers are where her palms would be if they were normal, just in case it looks a little weird.)

(This marks the first actual depiction of BlĂĽtgrindor I've posted anywhere. I'd have put more stuff in the poster considering the amount of negative space there is to the sides, but I haven't quite finished designing the stuff that would be the best pick to put there, so I'll probably redesign or add to this later.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(I made a poster of Silver, Bex and BlĂĽtgrindor because I got bored and thought that this would be a really good idea. BlĂĽtgrindor's hand needs a little work and was a little weird to draw because it's basically a skeleton hand, with the individual "bones" exposed instead of a normal palm, so the first segments of her fingers are where her palms would be if they were normal, just in case it looks a little weird.)

(This marks the first actual depiction of BlĂĽtgrindor I've posted anywhere. I'd have put more stuff in the poster considering the amount of negative space there is to the sides, but I haven't quite finished designing the stuff that would be the best pick to put there, so I'll probably redesign or add to this later.)

I won't complain about BlĂĽtgrindor's thiccness, but I'll smash a folding metal chair on her head.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(That would probably destroy the chair and do nothing to her.)

(Silence, profligate!)



(How many times must I remind you of the power of the folding steel chair?)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(I feel like I've created some unspeakable evil and unleashed it on the world by making this and then posting it.)

(Should it go in the appropriate gallery, or is it too much of a cognitohazard?)

You know what?
Do it, post it to the new entry for that comic, just as a joke.
Then we'll recruit those souls confused enough to ask for cntext.

Quiet_boi wrote:

You know what?
Do it, post it to the new entry for that comic, just as a joke.
Then we'll recruit those souls confused enough to ask for cntext.

The context can just be a burning city with the TF2 soldier laughing, 90's Bum Rock and this playing in the background:

I feel that's a good explanation for what's been happening here.

Last edited May 19, 2022 at 05:32PM EDT

Soup King wrote:

I forgot how much fun Memri TV edits were to make, so I've decided to make another one.



3 strikes in a row, how will the CoS ever recover from such massacre?
…
(They won't)

(How will Shirleyism recover?)

(By sending a group of Undefinables to destroy a Bundeswehr tank battalion in the middle of the night with their bare hands, filming it and posting it online with all of the Undefinables blurred and cropped out, leaving people wondering why Leopard 2s are being launched into the air and ripped in half by an indecipherable blob of pixels and not exactly screaming in fear of the Shirleyists' new weapon that will grant them a steep advantage in the wars to come.)

(…Or just drawing more height charts and character designs, I'm really not liking the fact that I hit development Hell almost immediately. At least I've learned not to give out release dates until everything's finished. There's just not enough hours in the day. I think I really shouldn't have pitched the idea of a comic so soon before having all the character designs worked out so I can sort of finish all the designs in the background while working on regular stuff so that there'd be less stress to finish everything and be like "surprise!" once it's finished, but there's still the problem of having trouble finding the time to work on stuff and make massive progress so I can finally get to actually drawing pages. There's also the creep, with characters like Blütgrindor, Exorauder and Thurzia being really cool and I want to introduce them to the thread… but I'm not quite ready to yet since and all sorts of other problems…)

(Really, I need to just shut up draw more.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(How will Shirleyism recover?)

(By sending a group of Undefinables to destroy a Bundeswehr tank battalion in the middle of the night with their bare hands, filming it and posting it online with all of the Undefinables blurred and cropped out, leaving people wondering why Leopard 2s are being launched into the air and ripped in half by an indecipherable blob of pixels and not exactly screaming in fear of the Shirleyists' new weapon that will grant them a steep advantage in the wars to come.)

(…Or just drawing more height charts and character designs, I'm really not liking the fact that I hit development Hell almost immediately. At least I've learned not to give out release dates until everything's finished. There's just not enough hours in the day. I think I really shouldn't have pitched the idea of a comic so soon before having all the character designs worked out so I can sort of finish all the designs in the background while working on regular stuff so that there'd be less stress to finish everything and be like "surprise!" once it's finished, but there's still the problem of having trouble finding the time to work on stuff and make massive progress so I can finally get to actually drawing pages. There's also the creep, with characters like Blütgrindor, Exorauder and Thurzia being really cool and I want to introduce them to the thread… but I'm not quite ready to yet since and all sorts of other problems…)

(Really, I need to just shut up draw more.)

(Eh, it's fine, don't worry about meeting deadlines too much.)

(We're doing this for fun, so there shouldn't be any reason to get stressed over this. Things take as long as they take, so just work at whatever pace suits you best.)

(Also, we all know the CoS can't meme, and even if they were to try now, the gap is too large.)

(They may break our bones and shatter our temples, but the they will never legitimately score more than 100 updoots on Reddit!)

Nobody:

Kommando: "If elected President, I'll start a program to improve the Mental Healthcare of the country!"

Also Kommando: "Ok, let's see your resume… Stable Marriage, Three kids, lots of friends, no criminal record, many years of service and an outstanding performance record… we'll call you later."

"Ok, next! Now let's see your resum- Holy Jesus! Sadistic Personality Disorder! Extreme Antisocial Tendencies! PTSD-fueled genocidal outbursts! Will resort to violence frequently, especially when completely unnecessary! When can you start? I'll triple your salary and promote you to platoon leader immediately if you'll change into this uniform and start right now! I'll even throw in free medical and dental insurance and a company car!"

(And I'm not even through half of my homicidal, deranged, delusional and hopelessly irredeemable psychopath OCs!)

A Tale of Two Cities.

It was a stormy day in Death On High as the maid led one of BlĂĽtgrindor's children down a long corridor towards one of the mess halls. The lightning flashed and the child jumped and spun it's head towards the massive mechanical beast that towered outside the window. Finding that it was only the West Device, standing where it had always stood, the child continued to eye it cautiously, not noticing the maid leaning down to him.

"Do you know the story of the East and West Devices?" The maid said, causing the child to startle once more.

"N-no, ma'am!" The child stuttered.

The maid smiled and began to expound upon the origin of the towering behemoth of machinery.

In a world where bitter rival kingdoms had been warring since before history began, two queens grieved greatly over the loss of their royal brothers and sisters. Then one day, a tall mechanical being bearing white feathered wings and armor resembling the head of a pegasus visited the Kanashimi no kĹŤgĹŤ, the ruler of the Eastern Kingdom. It bestowed upon her a new castle, an immense fortress capable of uprooting itself and taking the form of a mighty beast and most importantly, it could heal all of the KĹŤgĹŤ's men of their wounds as long as they were still alive.

But unbeknownst to her, in the Western Kingdom your mother had already informed it's ruler, the Queen of Grief, of Hinokaizen's plan to destroy them both. Thus the Queen of Grief was gifted her own palace, with it's own beastly and draconic form capable of cursing entire battlefields full of opponents with all sorts of injuries and ailments and even of blighting entire countrysides into barren wastelands.

The two massive fortresses marched to the mountain range separating the two kingdoms and leveled it into a rocky valley of dust and ash with their immense powers so that their armies could march through. When they all encountered each other, a battle unfolded that was so destructive and chaotic that even the most hardened veterans of both armies froze and quivered in place as they found themselves unable to move at the sight of the towering beast-like fortresses that dwarfed even the very mountains themselves.

The two queens controlled their fortresses from their thrones, nestled in the hearts of their respective fortresses. The two colossal fortresses beat and battered each other with all of their weapons, their very powers ripping apart the sky itself forcing it to shift back and forth between Dusk and Dawn and Dusk and Dawn and Dusk and Dawn and Dusk again until they had both thoroughly wounded each other. Pouring their body, mind and souls into their machines, the two matriarchs managed to make their city-sized titans of war usher forth one more blow to the other, sealing both of their fates.

The two walking fortress cities laid across from each other, slumped over and in ruins. Your mother, having already recaptured Hinokaizen and punished her, had the two behemoths of scrap, covered inside and out by the deceased, salvaged and brought back to Death On High.

Once there, the two cities were found to be unable to be repaired to their former glory, but both still bore their powers of blight and healing. Thus, they were refitted into the massive stationary beacons you see today, emitting waves of destruction upon any invaders unfortunate enough to stand against us.

"and that is how the East and West Devices came to be, young one." The maid said as she began to lead the child down the hall again.

BlĂĽtgrindor's child gazed at the behemoth and wondered if it would someday move again, or if the Queen of Grief's mind was still in the device somewhere, or if she could be peering down upon them all right now as a flash of lightning illuminated the machine's fearsome dragon-like visage one last time.

Four Travelers, Part I: Hero of Blue.

BlĂĽtgrindor, Rhajamaut, several of her underlings in human form and a couple of their descendants children were sitting at the bank of a river on their homeworld, where BlĂĽtgrindor was lecturing them as to the importance of might and power. She stopped mid-sentence to stare at growl at something on the bridge behind them, marching across the river was a young man, evidently royalty from his extravagant blue armor, and several mercenaries. Stopping halfway across the bridge, the blue royal called out.

"Might you be the dreaded fell Lady of this land? Known for unparalleled strength and savagery?" He shouted.

"If you are wishing to die young and leave a beautiful corpse, you're consulting the perfect woman for the first objective and the wrong one for the latter." She replied through a disinterested face before leaning down to the group of children. "Prepare to witness a demonstration of today's lesson." She said.

"I have been called from far away from a different realm to challenge you, I have heard tales of a terrible Lady that wields never before seen brutalities and weapons against defenseless kingdoms and as I once did in my own home, I must now free this land of it's abominable tyrant. I am the Hero-King M-" The Hero-King in blue was cut off.

"Strike me." BlĂĽtgrindor stated in between rubbing her tongue across her teeth beneath her lips to pick out left over bits of food and spitting them out.

The Hero-King stared in confusion.

"Strike me, and despair upon the sight of your inability!" BlĂĽtgrindor called out to the traveler.

Walking over to her, the Hero-King drew his sword, a magnificent blade with a golden hilt, and swung straight down onto her head. The bladed plunged and cleaved straight through BlĂĽtgrindor's skull and stopped just above the teeth in her upper jaw. The Hero-King's eyes slowly filled with horror as BlĂĽtgrindor grinned back at him and began laughing.

He quickly pulled his blade out and impaled her through the sternum, her laughter continuing as she simply pulled the blade from her chest, grabbed the traveler by the throat and threw him across the bridge. Her massive and scarred biceps, triceps and deltoids bulging as she did so.

The mercenaries all charged forth as BlĂĽtgrindor changed to Undefinable form, causing the mercenaries to briefly slow their charge as they took in the sight of the seven-foot-tall mechanical warrior before them, but resuming their former pace. Extending one of her chainsaw-like swords from one arm and sweeping across the air in front of her, scrambling all but one of the mercenaries, a heavily armored cavalier, who both mount and rider were shredded into two halves and flung into the air by the singular strike.

"DESPAIR!!!" BlĂĽtgrindor shouted out at across the bridge.

An armored knight tried to thrust his lance into BlĂĽtgrindor only for it to break on her armor, followed by her claw grasping him, lifting him into the air and squeezing him until he was crushed inside his own armor. She simply flung the crumpled hunk of metal and bleeding flesh at a second cavalier, knocking him off of his horse. Desperately attempting to quickly stand up and continue fleeing, he was impaled to the ground by a massive blade launched from BlĂĽtgrindor's arm.

A knight mounted upon a Wyvern and a Pegasus rider both tried to fly away from the slaughter, but BlĂĽtgrindor changed to her mechanical dragon form and took to the skies after them. Firing a burst of rounds from the Thoron Cannon embedded between her dragon form's jaws, one hitting the wing of the Pegasus and burning the flesh from it. Quickly diving towards the tumbling flier, she spun before it and whipped her golden, bladed tail across the glorified horse's neck, it's head and neck being pulled from it's shoulders and flung through the air by the wind and it's rider's following shortly behind it.

The Wyvern and it's Knight chased after BlĂĽtgrindor up into the sky, the knight shielding his eye when BlĂĽtgrindor flew into the sun and opening them wide in panic as the once shrinking silhouette started rapidly growing in size and BlĂĽtgrindor, back in Undefinable form, landed on the wyvern, grappling it with her talon-like mechanical feet and restraining it as it flailed in a desperate but futile attempt to stop their plummet back to the ground.

The Hero-King and a remaining archer watched in terror as the wyvern slammed into the ground, back-down, crushing the knight riding it, and it's torso bursting from the weight of the metallic titan on top of it and splattering a massive amount of blood, bones and viscera all around it. The archer quickly responded by rapidly firing arrows at BlĂĽtgrindor, only to be hit directly in the chest with by a massive sphere of violet energy from her Thoron Cannon.

The burnt, hissing and unrecognizable corpse of the archer landed next to the Hero-King, despite being left with eye sockets boiling with the liquefied remnants of his eyeballs and minced, blackened facial muscles that left the underlying bones exposed in some areas and a mouth full of cracked, ash-stained teeth stuck partially ajar, it still conveyed a look of sheer and insurmountable fear.

Rising to his feet and drawing his sword once more, the Hero-King prepared to slay the mighty beast before him. Drawing her Corrupted Holy Sword, BlĂĽtgrindor and the traveler's swords met each other in a single blow. The Hero-King's teeth nearly cracked from gritting together as he felt an overwhelming pain surge through his right arm and shoulder as the two blades struck.

Both of them paused to look at the traveler's arm. When the blades connected, the Hero-King's sword was not pierced and bisected as BlĂĽtgrindor had come to expect, instead it had resisted being cut entirely, the force of her mighty blow being transferred to the blue-haired royal's arm. Peering through his now-severely-bruised flesh with her red, glowing mechanical eyes, the pupils constricted into thin, narrow slits, she observed and saw that every joint was fractured and dislocated and every bone had cracked and nearly split from the stress, almost all of the muscles and ligaments had pulled themselves from the bone trying to push back against her blow.

With his right arm bent backwards and his left spared the force of the impact, the Hero-King quickly reach for his sword which lay stabbed into the ground next to his arm. BlĂĽtgrindor simply took her sword, still in her left hand, and impaled the traveler through the torso, his good hand not even a foot near his sword.

Grinning evilly, she leaned down towards him as he choked on his own blood.

"You are sworn to my side then, Hero-King! Your blade is mine! My cause is your soul! You are now my slave-at-arms!" She cackled into his ear as he slumped over. BlĂĽtgrindor pulled the traveler's sword from the soil and observed, nothing had been able to withstand the indescribable sharpness and cutting power of her blade before, she would be very intrigued to see what Rhajamaut or Leonidius would make of it. She did not notice the children still seated on the river bank gleefully cheering at the sight of her victory.

…

The Hero-King awoke in a dank dungeon, his face felt cold and stiff, looking around, he could hear his eyes whir and click and could see all sorts of things he could barely describe. Unable to feel or move the rest of his body, he realized that he had no body: He was little more than a disembodied metallic head suspended above a table bearing a blue-armored metal body being tediously manufactured by busy metallic arms emerging from the floor.

A massive iron worm descended from the black void of a ceiling and opened it's metallic maw, revealing and extending out a mechanical figure resembling a blood-red-haired woman that was attached to the inside of the steel serpent at the hip by a mess of cables and wires.

She traced her finger down the bridge of his nose and sadistically sang out:

"Save your screams for now…"
"…Your service has just begun…"
"…True pain is at hand!"

He screamed, for he no longer knew anything, or wanted to learn of what was yet to come.

Four Travelers, Part II: Blue Vanguard.

BlĂĽtgrindor, Rhajamaut, Reinayari, Carmilla, Velka, Elysium and Shiagesetsuna were soaring through the sky in the form of whatever flying beast they could change into and began circling above a large fortress.

"There it is! That's where we suspect where the mercenaries have been coming from!" Elysium announced.

The group changed into Undefinable form and landed on one of the balconies behind the castle's walls, overlooking it's courtyards full of mercenaries, armored, mounted, infantry, massive swarms of various soldiers marched before them. A blue-haired man wearing a tattered red cape stood above them who suddenly turned around and spotted BlĂĽtgrindor and her group.

"You!" He shouted as all the mercenaries turned to face them. "You are the Terrible Lady of this land, are you not?" He continued. "I have come to liberate this land from the hideous armored beasts that terrorize it and to challenge the one they call the most bloodthirsty conqueror to live!" The traveler announced.

BlĂĽtgrindor simply ordered her underlings to attack as she created a replica of herself, as did Shiagesetsuna. Chaos unfolded immediately as the mercenaries tried to climb up the numerous staircases and balconies to reach BlĂĽtgrindor's group. Shiagesetsuna's double changed into a massive Ballista and began firing violet bolts of energy onto the approaching army, every shot killing several mercenaries, filling the staircases she was covering with piles of cadavers.

Carmilla ejected Seleverena into the air over the edge of the balcony and directly in front of the Mercenary Leader, who he found himself locking blades with a six-foot-tall mechanical woman that had just previously been an unassuming metallic cube. He successfully dodged one of Seleverena's strikes and began to run away, but then a large tiger made of light pounced him and struck him repeatedly. He reached for his sword and successfully grabbed it in time to block a bite from the animal. Kicking it, he quickly slid back, stood to his feet and fled for safety.

BlĂĽtgrindor plowed through the mass of mercenaries with her claws and blades dripping with fresh blood. Everywhere she slung her arms would result in eviscerated soldiers being launched into the air. Rallying cries of optimism turned to shrieks of terror wherever she approached.

Several siege engines were being wheeled into place in the courtyard below, Reinayari took note and lunged onto the mercenaries preparing the weapons and began slaughtering them. Picking up the beam of an incomplete trebuchet, she swiped it along the ground, knocking fleeing soldiers through the air, before lifting it above her head and slamming it onto a fleeing horse cart full of panicking mercenaries, crushing them.

The Mercenary Leader scaled the wall of the castle, and peeked over the edge to see that he was behind BlĂĽtgrindor's group. Seeing that all of his mercenaries were dead at this point and that BlĂĽtgrindor had changed to Human form, he sought to sieze the opportunity and slowly crept towards her. He unsheathed his sword and flung it straight towards the back of her head.

BlĂĽtgrindor instantly spun around and caught it in between both of her hands, she then bent the blade and snapped it in two with her bare hands and began approaching the traveler with the broken tip of the blade in her left hand. The Mercenary Leader quickly drew a second sword and swung it at BlĂĽtgrindor, only for her to catch the blade in her mouth and bite straight through it, the blade shattering between her teeth. She then stabbed the traveler's abdomen with the tip of the first blade and began punching the wound with her left arm while choking him with her right. Throwing him to the ground, BlĂĽtgrindor picked him back up by the scalp and buried her thumbs into his eyes.

"I'll take your soul! You will know nothing but pain under me, you'll be used as fodder in a thousand battles before you ever see the light of day again!" She said. "Nobody steps foot on my land with the intention of challenging me, nobody does so and lives!" She said as she gripped the sides of the Mercenary Leader's skull, pushed her thumbs deeper into his eye sockets and then pulled the sides of his head off, deforming his face into an unrecognizable bloody mess.

…

The Mercenary Leader awoke in a decrepit dungeon, across from him was the head of a blue haired Undefinable. It wheezed at him with an agonized facial expression: "…Kill… me…"

He then realized that he too, was merely a head and shouted with no intention of ever stopping anytime in the foreseeable future.

>"Nobody steps foot on my land with the intention of challenging me, nobody does so and lives!"
Ah yes, and why is there a huge ass piss stain in her bedroom's carpet?
That's right, regards from the Holey One, bitch.

(Oh, that was probably one of Perifonos' Daughter, Modique Mörderin's recreational attack dogs, their puppies are extremely adept at just straight up disappearing only to appear and attack someone from the most unlikely locations. One of them probably got loose and found it's way in her bedroom. The adults regularly exceed 200 pounds and 35 inches tall feet-to-withers, and are capable of easily breaking femurs, they're extremely aggressive and effective against unprepared opponents, making them extremely popular in the arenas of Death on High.)

Four Travelers, Part III: Blue Future.

BlĂĽtgrindor and her usual retainers stood atop a tower overlooking a rocky coastline, Owaidin, Nyxious and Ophylion had constructed it as a device capable of destroying any ships that travel their seas without permission. Perifonos and Laslinigow stood guard alongside Euphemia and Silazalious at the base of the tower while Carmilla, Velka and Seleverena patrolled the air. Furthermore, Artorilkan, Percious and Velourical stood watch at an outpost further down the coastline.

"BEHOLD! A DIABOLICAL AND DEVIOUS DEVICE, DESTINED TO DEFILE AND DESTROY, FABRICATED BY NONE OTHER THAN I, THE DARKLORD: OWAIDIN!" Owaidin announced as he struck an absurd pose while standing at the controls of the tower.

"…AND PERFECTED BY THE PERSONIFICATION OF SHADOWS, THE AVATAR OF MALEVOLENCE, THE CHOSEN HEROINE, THE ONE AND ONLY DUSKBRINGER, OPHYLION!" Ophylion added as she stood next to her father, holding her open palm and outstretched fingers in front of her face in a similarly needlessly extravagant pose.

"The Tempest Tower will alter the weather over the sea into an impassible storm that will sink and strand any ship that dares to trespass, like the ones that those two oafs that tried to challenge you must have came on, Lady BlĂĽtgrindor." Nyxious explained.

BlĂĽtgrindor cackled. "Very well then! Yes! Let us see this machine in action!" She said.

The Tempest Tower started emitting a faint, low hum and the weather over the ocean started turning from a perfectly clear sky to a nigh-pitch black overcast as the wind began gaining speed and then violent thunder and lightning struck the sea's surface as far as the eye could see.

On the edge of the horizon a burning ship could be seen, listing and with it's sails ignited by the lightning, it crashed and ran aground near the outpost. Perifonos, Laslinigow, Euphemia and Silazalious immediately set out for the outpost to investigate.

A blue-haired woman climbed out of the wreckage of the ship alongside several soldiers. Once all of them were on the shore, they made sure that there were no injured among them before scouting down the beach. The traveler wore a blue metal mask over her eyes and carried an extravagant golden shield that bore several gems.

"Lady BlĂĽtgrindor! We have survivors over here!" Artorilkan announced through the communications system.

"Then kill them!" BlĂĽtgrindor responded.

Artorilkan, Percious and Velourical stepped out and onto the sand and marched towards the soldiers that emerged from the now-ashen shipwreck. Percious changed into wyvern form and took flight over the trespassers while the other two continued on.

"Say strong!" The traveler shouted as she and the other soldiers charged forward towards the strange metallic giants. She drew a large, golden sword with a hole in the base of it's blade as she entered the fray.

Artorilkan used his massive axe to cut down the first wave of attackers and then followed suit with a push closer to the castaways' leader. Percious began swooping down onto unsuspecting targets and snatching them up into the air where he would slash and claw them to death before dropping their heavy, armored corpses onto more unwary opponents below. Velourical simply fired upon any approaching soldiers with her small Thoron guns.

The traveler woman charged straight for Artorilkan who turned to face her. He brought his axe down upon her, but she blocked it with her sword. Artorilkan briefly expressed confusion beneath his armored mask as he swore that he could see the faintest glow coming from the traveler's blade, but soon she somehow shoved him back and pointed the golden shield on her arm straight at him as it lit up and glowed, each of the gems shining brightly before… nothing.

They both expressed confusion before resuming their confrontation. Amongst the chaos of the combat, one of the stranded soldiers suddenly held up a glowing orb and transformed into a massive, rodent-like beast. He then charged straight towards Artorilkan until he was knocked to his side by a blast of violet energy. The rodent beast turned to see Velourical, who retracted her Thoron guns into her hands and then slammed her fists into the ground, followed by them reshaping into a monstrous pair of feet as the fur-covered armor on her arms rearranged and fitted itself together, closing any gaps, she quickly rose to a handstand, where her head retreated to a compartment in her torso, her legs extended out to the sides of her body, her mechanical feet were replaced with a bestial pair of claws and a hideous animal-like head rose above the shoulders of her monster form, it's piercing red eyes and mouth full of slender, sharp, carnivorous teeth beckoning for violence. The two giant beasts shrieked and rushed towards each other, leaping onto and pouncing the other as they became locked in a bloody wrestle of claws and teeth in the sand.

Perifonos and Silazalious arrived at the scene with Laslinigow and Euphemia in tow. The latter two each dismounting from the former two's war horse forms before the former two switched back to their Undefinable forms.

"This is worse than I anticipated…" Laslinigow commented on the skirmish taking place before them.

"Don't just stand there! Help them!" Silazalious shouted.

"Yay! Bloodshed! Violence! Chaos!" Perifonos exclaimed as she ran off straight into the center of the conflict, leaving the other three Undefinables where they were standing.

"YEAH! LET'S CRUSH SOME SKULLS!!!" Euphemia shouted as she began to march towards the combat with her weapons out and Silazalious and Laslinigow following behind her.

Perifonos plowed through the soldiers, her blades tearing limbs from their sockets, organs from their cavities and blood from their veins. Skewering one to the ground with a javelin launched from her wrist while slashing another one with her wrist-mounted sword. She slowly carved a path towards the leader of the castaway soldiers.

"What's taking so long?" BlĂĽtgrindor complained. "Artorilkan, report!" She commanded over the communications system.

"You should see this! It's another one!" He replied.

"Well, as usual… I must do everything myself!" She said as she teleported straight to where Artorilkan was fighting the traveler.

"Another one indeed!" She said as she grabbed the blue-haired woman off the ground and began observing her. "…And a female, too! Perhaps we can start breeding them as livestock now! As if three wasn't enough!" A disgruntled Blütgrindor bitterly quipped through gritted teeth as she angrily threw the traveler onto the ground. "I'm going to make you regret ever surviving that storm, traveler!" Blütgrindor shouted to the woman as she extended her chainsaw-like blades from her hands.

Laslinigow couldn't quite articulate what it was, but there was something oddly familiar about the soldiers he was slaughtering today, perhaps after aeons and aeons of endless warfare, everyone was beginning to look the same, he thought.

Velourical had finally restrained the rodent beast and now clamped her teeth onto beast's snout and pressing down. The rodent flailed and tried to escape the clamp, but it's forelimbs were pinned to the ground by Velourical's claws. Velourical bit down harder and with more force until suddenly a loud crunch came from the rodent beast's muzzle. Releasing it, it lay limp on the sand, it's face deformed from the crushing of it's snout as blood pooled on the ground around it's mouth. With the rodent beast slain, Velourical turned her wrath onto the other stranded soldiers.

BlĂĽtgrindor swung at the traveler only for the blue haired woman to block her strike with her sword. BlĂĽtgrindor pulled her chainsaw-like blade back, but not before the chain broke and flung broken pieces of shrapnel directly into the traveler woman. BlĂĽtgrindor drew her Corrupted Holy Sword and brought it down upon the now injured and bleeding traveler, only to find it stopped by the ornate shield on her arm. BlĂĽtgrindor froze as her head slowly turned to the coughing and weary traveler, who fell over and bled on the ground from the blood loss caused by the numerous pieces of the broken chainsaw blade lodged in her face and throat.

BlĂĽtgrindor stood fuming with anger that it had happened again. Her homelands had been trespassed on by three separate travelers from world unknown and there were now three weapons which her blade could not as much as stain, let alone destroy. She picked up the limp, pale and bloody cadaver of the traveler by the throat and stared into it's lifeless, glazed eyes with nothing but pure hatred and anger beaming from her gaze. BlĂĽtgrindor wished that the traveler still lived, solely so that she could kill her again for defiling her home with her presence.

…

Owaidin observed the sword and shield that the traveler had wielded before being slain. "It's familiar but… I have no memory of ever seeing either of these before… THE PLOT THICKENS FOR, OWAIDIN: THE DARKLORD!!!" He said in a brief break from his normal, excessive self.

…

The traveler awoke in a dark room, except that she could see perfectly fine in the absence of light. Moving to stand up, she felt taller, heavier, then she noticed that her limbs were now metallic and whined whenever she moved them. Finding herself unable to exit the chamber, she suddenly realized what has happened to her and screamed in despair at the sight of the other two blue-haired mechanical figures in the cell across from her, only for a massive metallic serpent to emerge from the shadows accompanied by several mechanical arms, which restrained her and removed a device from her throat, prohibiting her from calling out or screaming furthermore. It then retracted back into the dark, leaving her to silently collapse to the floor in pure terror as she was unable to comprehend anything occurring around her.

Four Travelers, Part IV: White Thunder.

Two massive armored Undefinable drones marched through the plains as the sun rose. The ground was marked with deep footprints where ever they stepped and their stride deterred nature itself, as nothing made a sound as they approached.

Suddenly, a bright bolt of lightning struck one of them from a nearby forest, prompting both to turn to return fire at their assailant. Launching spears and axes, the two war machines felled most of the trees. Patrolling the ruined woodlands, the drones found themselves being ambushed by a small group of well-armed mercenaries.

The mercenaries were vanquished within only a few short minutes and the drones returned to their patrol route. After a few minutes had passed a figure in a hooded robe and carrying a golden, zig-zagging blade emerged from beneath a pile of dead bodies. Retreating from the scene of the skirmish, the hooded figure schemed silently as to how to win against such invulnerable opponents.

…

BlĂĽtgrindor, Rhajamaut, Reinayari, were walking down a street in a city in the middle of a desert in human form while Carmilla, Seleverena and Velka flew overhead. They were searching for the source of the magic lightning attacks that had been happening the past couple weeks. Though they were always unsuccessful, the fact that someone would still attempt them despite the insurmountable might of the Undefinables was concerning to BlĂĽtgrindor.

"Excuse me!" A white-haired, but fairly youthful looking woman called out to Blütgrindor and her group. "I'm looking for someone, a daughter of a very dear friend. The last we saw of her she had set sail for…" The woman's words were muffled and inaudible to Blütgrindor, the fact that someone had dared to pester her of all people disgusted her and filled her with such hatred and contempt that she was dead silent except for the burning stare upon her face. She wanted to commit thousands of atrocities over this minor inconvenience, this woman will die a most painful death for her sins against her, she could strangle her right now with her own, greasy, stained robes that faintly smelled of putrid, rotten flesh and dried blood. She did not even care to look at the paper the woman was practically shoving in her face.

"Ma'am, your hands are on my throat, could you pleas-" The white-haired woman was cut off by BlĂĽtgrindor tightly gripping his neck with both hands and lifting her off of the ground. Suddenly a bright flash of light happened and BlĂĽtgrindor dropped the woman onto the sandy floor. She had just used lightning magic on her in an attempt to escape being strangled.

Almost as quickly as their search had began it had come to an end.

"You!" BlĂĽtgrindor shouted at the woman, who was now actively backing away from her. "I'll make your suffering endless, you dare raise as much as a finger against me and my forces!" BlĂĽtgrindor fumed as the woman crept further away, yet BlĂĽtgrindor still stood above her as she had not yet stood back up.

"I thought you might be the authority around here, I just wanted to be-" The white-haired traveler stopped as she watched in silence Blütgrindor changing to her Undefinable form. "So… I see this will not be as simple as I previously anticipated." The woman said before throwing a ball of fire onto the ground, creating a bright flash in order to escape. Blütgrindor lunged through the smoke and flame at the woman, but she had already disappeared.

BlĂĽtgrindor growled in rage. "Find her! Kill her! Make her cry in agony!" BlĂĽtgrindor ordered as portals from Death On High opened and transported other Undefinable Revelation members into the city.

Perifonos patrolled down an alley only to find a ballista pointed right at her. Dodging the bolt, she drew her Thoron gun and destroyed the siege engine and it's crew. She then alerted the others that ambushes had been set up in the city.

Nialeroz and Shuraekaal moved into position and began shelling troop formations of mercenaries and siege engines. Carmilla, Seleverena and Velka soared overhead, striking any mercenaries they found. The larger Undefinables smashed and plowed through buildings in order to deprive the mercenaries of cover and shelter. Strangely enough, none of them could find any civilians anywhere, as if the city had been evacuated completely beforehand.

"Now!" The traveler ordered to a group of mercenaries standing near her. Suddenly, several explosions erupted around the city and the ground began to sink. Several of the Undefinables found themselves at the bottom of numerous deep pits. Climbing out of them was no issue.

"What? How is this not working?" The white-haired traveler questioned upon the witnessing Perifonos claw her way out of a deep pit.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH!?!?!?!" BlĂĽtgrindor shrieked as she flew out from one of the pit traps in mechanical dragon form and landed directly behind the woman. "Your suffering will be exquisite and without end!" She shouted at the robed traveler.

The traveler shot lightning from her palms that struck BlĂĽtgrindor's armor, but to no avail. As to whether it was her unrivaled pain tolerance or a complete immunity was irrelevant, as BlĂĽtgrindor fired a burst of shots from her Thoron Cannon that sent the traveler fleeing for cover.

"DON'T RUN FROM ME!" BlĂĽtgrindor shouted.

Carmilla deployed Seleverena to block the white-haired woman's escape, to which she did successfully. But they both stared at each other, desperately trying to hide their confusion from the other. There was something familiar about them, but they could find no memory of anything remotely resembling the other.

BlĂĽtgrindor leaped forward and impaled the woman on her skeletal, metallic claws while wearing a perverted grin. Hoisting her bleeding corpse into the air, BlĂĽtgrindor threw the traveler into one of her own pits. Laughing maniacally BlĂĽtgrindor proclaimed victory as the last of the mercenaries were skewered and burnt alive.

Seleverena picked up a piece of paper the traveler had dropped, on it was the face of the blue-haired woman that had shipwrecked on the beach. Despite having no memory of either of them, something was bizarrely familiar about both of the female travelers. Though Seleverena quickly stopped caring about the strange phenomena, as she felt she had more important matters to attend to.

…

The white-haired woman woke up in a place she did not recognize, she thought for a moment that she might have survived her fall down the pit, but then she realized that she was no longer bleeding, or even injured for that matter, then she saw her. She saw the person, she was looking for, but her face was not her face. The blue-haired woman stood in a traumatized trance looking towards a metal wall. She had become one of the metallic giants that the white-haired woman found herself at the mercy at. Her body was now covered in segmented blue armor, dark grey cables peeked through every gap in the armor and her blade was now a part of her arm. She didn't seem as tall as the ones she fought, but then it dawned on her.

She had been conscripted into one of these things as well. She began to panic but the metal wall dropped into the floor to reveal a massive arena full of people cheering and shouting. On the other end was an ornate war horse with no rider, she could not understand or process anything that was happening. Was anything real? Was this some bizarre nightmare she was having as she bled to death in the bottom of a trap she herself had created?

Then her body walked out into the arena entirely against her will, the blue-haired woman did as well, but as to whether she exited the small, cramped chamber voluntarily or not was entirely impossible to tell. Before she could even scream at the realization that she was no longer in her own body, but a mechanical and monstrous facsimile of it that she was not even in control of, the riderless war horse reared up to and unfolded to reveal itself as none other than Perifonos and before she could react, a jagged, bizarrely-shaped axe of some kind was flung straight into the white-haired woman's steel, reflective face. There was now nothing but blackness and void.

Then she was awoken to the horror that not even death could free her from this prison, as she found herself ripped apart on a table in a dark room, mechanical arms poking and prodding the various smashed pieces of her hideous new body. As one of the arms welded the massive gash splitting her face in two back together, she saw an abhorrent metallic serpent that hung from the ceiling and appeared to be controlling the arms as it hummed horrific haikus to itself as they all worked tirelessly preventing the dead from resting.

The blue-haired Undefinables stood listlessly in their cramped cell, they did not know for how long. They lost count ages ago and, in any case, time did not seem to matter. Not here.

"…ow are you able to return here. The Gates have been sealed."

Coming towards them was their chief tormentor, the one who rebuilt them again and again, making them suffer agony without end. They were so use to this by now that they had stopped flinching at her presence and allowed her to carry out whatever obscene task she wished with no resistance. The lessons of centuries had hammered home the pointlessness of it.

"Whilst it is true we can no longer come here directly, we can still get in through…less straight forward routes."

The second voice was new. It sounded more mechanical than the ones that normally followed her down to gawp and jeer at them. Perhaps it had been so long now, that even these devils had finally begun to lose what little humanity they had left.

"You know that I could disassemble an insect like you with but a merest touch?"

"I'd hope so, it's only been six months since we were last here and I'd be shocked if your skills had degraded so quickly. Then again, considering what you've been doing, I'm surprised your not."

It was now that they could hear her slithering her way towards where they were held, accompanied by steady, confidant stamping of metal feet on cold stone.

"I have no knowledge of what you mean, demon."

"I could see that as I wandered my happy little arse in here, dear."

There was a brief moment of stillness when they had made their way to the door of their cell. The only sound was the idle clicking of their torturer's many appendages and the gentle thrum of a power generator.

"Even if you were to escape my grasp, which you wouldn't, I could sound the alarm and see your fate sealed before you could even let off one your witty quips."

"That would sure leave me in a pickle."

They could hear the clacking of her limbs quicken in anticipation. It was a sound that had once filled their hearts with dread. Their hearts weren't filled with anything these days, just a dull hollowness where it once was.

"Of course, you'd get into even greater trouble on account of committing treason and all."

The clicking came to an abrupt stop, leaving the droning engine as the only sound.

"Well, it's the only way this can end, when you think about it. If you raise the alarm, you'll also be alerting them to the fact that you've got a door leading to…elsewhere. A door by the way that anyone can use."

"…"

"Naturally, of course, they'll want to investigate this inter-dimensional cat-flap and they'll discover that it's been known to you for quite the while as well; judging by the sheer amount of infrastructure you've built back there."

"…"

"And sister, I know you Undefinables are the rough and ready sort, but I think that even they may have some unkind words to say about what you're doing back there. I even think that Blütgrindor, deranged as she is, may have something to say about these…pet projects of yours."

If they had been made aware for the potential of escape when they had first been captured, it may have stirred their spirits and steeled their hearts for the trials ahead. But by now, they realised that all resistance was pointless and had resigned themselves to their fate.

"What do you want…?"

"I merely wish to conduct a scan of your most up-to-date armour specifications."

"And for this, you will hold your…tongue?"

"Indubitably so."

"…very well."

The door to the cell swung open, and two torch-like eyes bathed the room in a soft, yellow light from which none of the occupants could hide, even if they had wanted to.

The silhouette of a machine crafted in a crude facsimile of a man approached them through the eternal murk of the dungeon and began to study each of them in turn.

After he had finished, the machine stepped back and the colour of the lights faded to a light blue as he looked over them one last time.

"Poor buggers. I take it you know who they are, don't you?"

"I am aware of their identity."

"I can't help but feel this is love, you know. A sick, twisted love that leaves a trail of pus and maggots in its wake, but love nonetheless."

"Hmm?"

"They've all received the finest armour and sharpest weapons; the circuitry is perfectly organised and there is not even the slightest of scratches or chips on any of the gears or joints. That's a level of care that even the nobles don't receive."

"They are of…special interest to my lords, after all."

The machine let off a puff of exhaust fumes in what the Blue-Haired Undefinables might have thought was a sigh, if they still had their senses about them.

It closed the door to the cell behind it and they were all once again plunged into darkness, which was the closest they ever came to sleep here, in this unending hell of theirs.

"I will keep your secret, but I must warn you that you meddle with things you do not understand."

They could hear them moving back the way they had come, although the stride of the machine was discordant; clearly shocked by what he had seen.

"I know your ways, devil, you cannot deceive me."

"Heed these words well, woman. That place is not as empty and benign as it seems. You have been fortunate so far in that you have found a place of peace and stability. Do Not Cross The 39th Corner, lest you end up lost somewhere unfamiliar and uncanny."

The conversation was harder to hear now as the machine and their tormentor returned to wherever it had come from originally.

"Huh, whatever could pose a threat to me?"

"Pray you never find out. There are beings and places in here that threaten even the likes of your master and me. Farewell."

After a sharp pfft sound, silence descended once more into the dungeon, leaving them in the only form of peace that they still knew.

(Just bumping to keep the thread alive, so we can chuck this one onto the canonically non-canon pile until we decide to change our minds later on.)

(I mean, just for clarification, the "Four Travelers" as we'll call them for now entered the original reality BlĂĽtgrindor is from, not Death On High, which is a pocket dimension that was constructed by Kommando after recruiting BlĂĽtgrindor. Undefinable Revelation can enter and exit DOH as they please, as can other Shirleyists with the proper authority, i.e. Kommando, Exorauder. Despite not being a part of DOH, BlĂĽtgrindor is still responsible for the reality she initially came from and the various alternate realities "adjacent" to it, like Silver's home reality for example. This was meant to be implied by the fact that there's rivers, beaches and forests with no buildings in sight, as opposed to an endless dark fantasy-themed brutalist/classical architecture hybrid sci-fi city full of absurdly tall towers and with just a tiny hint of high-tech architecture. Think of DOH as looking like what would happen if someone somehow successfully built Midgar from FF7 using only materials and techniques available to Medieval Europeans, mostly dystopian Medieval fantasy stuff, but with a few pieces of sci-fi tech peaking through the seams. They also nigh-exclusively use stone and metal, but there are a few areas where wood is used. There's also no open, undeveloped spaces anywhere with the exception of the swamp and the forest at the south corners, but they're surrounded on all sides by more colossal buildings, walls and roads and they're also practically inhospitable with the swamp's waters not only being reddish-orange, but also immediately dissolve metal upon contact in addition to anything else that gets submerged in them, they are literally Aqua regia.)

(Worldbuilding for post-2007 world.)

(Most major cities in West USA, Europe and Mainland Asia were extremely damaged in the various large-scale conflicts, resulting in most of their buildings being destroyed and later, being replaced with the multi-layered industrial cities Kommando and later his political successors promoted while in office.)

(Examples of areas that this occurred in would be Los Angeles: It's northern and eastern half was outright obliterated in the Second Civil War by preliminary aerial bombings, followed by the actual US advance into the city and the combat ensuing in the area. Buildings as tall as just over 5,000 feet stand where North Hollywood, Glendale, Pasadena and San Bernardino used to, surrounded by multiple levels of wide, streets designed for heavy traffic and with smaller, strip mall-sized buildings with small parking lots in front of them on their edges regardless of their height above the ground. The older, downtown area doesn't get daylight levels of sunlight until a couple hours later than usual due to the newer buildings blocking the sunrise.)

(California was also split into six separate states after the world, in a manner near-identically to the failed real-life Six Californias Initiative. As a result, LA is now in West California and the US flag has 55 stars instead of 50.)

(Most of the centuries-old historical cities in Europe that had streets that were too narrow or otherwise incapable of supporting heavy motorized traffic were leveled during in the war with the EU, depending on their size and location, they were either replaced with smaller towns similar to the average American Suburban and Rural municipalities or by a Multi-Layered Industrial City, the passenger trains are extinct and the rail cargo gradually withers away more and more year after year as it gets replaced with cheaper and cheaper air travel, courtesy of Shirleyism promoting aerospace technologies above any other form of transportation.)

(Kommando's administration generally ignored or retracted arms reduction treaties and agreements, such as START, as well as developing a new generation Nuclear Warheads, including low-yield weapons similar to the Davy Crockett, Aim-26, M65 Atomic Cannon and even an entire arsenal of ICBMs equipped with warheads capable of 100 megatons. These were eventually used in a limited capacity against China, mainly to obliterate major cities and industrial centers that were seen as too difficult to properly occupy without incurring notable daily losses from insurgency. China was also split into several smaller countries, with Tibet, Hong Kong, Manchuria and Xinjiang becoming independent countries. The remainder of China was placed under the control of the Taiwanese/ROC government, which allied with Kommando's Shirleyist America due to China trying to invade them.)

(CRT TVs and Monitors are still manufactured and commonly used, Smartphones never took off in the same way they did IRL and instead resemble the PDAs of the Early-2000's, including physical buttons and often, but not always lacking touchscreens. Windows 8 never replaced the Start Menu as touchscreen tablets were less popular and Windows 10 never had an auto-update feature, Vine and subsequently Tik-Tok never existed and YouTube has actual competition. There are also Supersonic Airlines and even cargo, but in a more limited capacity as most companies prefer to stick with cheaper, subsonic cargo aircraft.)

(Culture is noticeably different, with gun-heavy action films and War movies being much more popular throughout the 2010's, even to the point that in this timeline's version of the MCU, Captain America frequently wields a customized BAR instead of using his shield as much. The riot against Bane scene The Dark Knight Rises even features the Police and Citizens of Gotham being armed and armored much heavier, with most of the Police wearing plate carriers and using M4 Carbines and Grenade Launchers and even an M249 briefly appearing. Dieselpunk is also much more popular. Music shifted away from pop and rap/hip-hop and towards Rock, Metal and Electronic.)

(There are far fewer international and intergovernmental organizations such as the UN and EU. The Middle East is still the scene of frequent armed conflicts, but they now are less the result of ME nations opposing each other, but more so citizen revolts against West-supported Shirleyist governments that attempt to modernize their countries, mainly by puritanical religious groups that violently oppose the separation of church and state. I also really want to make a flag for Shirleyist Saudi Arabia that largely resembles the real one, but bears a giant white Shirleyism logo in the top-center, with the text beneath now reading "Nobody is more important than the individual" in Arabic and a purple stripe through the middle that contains the text and the sword beneath. Just to sort of push the idea that not even the most isolated and insulated reaches of the planet have escaped the influence of Shirleyist Individualism. Africa is largely in a similar situation.)

(Also, feral Weasels and Rabbits were eradicated from New Zealand, Korea was reunified with the South taking over, Cyprus was also reunified with Northern Cyprus being dissolved during WWIII by the Shirleyists, The International Space Station was replaced with multiple much larger space stations and the US builds it's own Large Hadron Collider that dwarfs the LHC at CERN. Cuba is successfully invaded by the US and several South American countries end up economically collapsing due to the effects of the various wars and end up being bought by the Shirleyists.)

(Space travel is farther along than it is IRL, with many more manned missions taking place to the point where becoming an astronaut is a much more attainable life goal than it is IRL. Not everyone can do it, but as of 2020, there's roughly several hundred people actively working in space on some sort of mission.)

(Shitbots become an exceedingly rare sight after the Shirleyists outright ban them, to the point that alleged sightings of them become a frequent subject of tabloid headlines. Undefinables are still tightly controlled by the Shirleyists, with all Undefinables being Shirleyists, but some countries that are strongholds and bastions of Shirleyism have Undefinables as prominent components of their militaries, to the point that most of the Multi-Layered Industrial Cities even have Undefinables forming the backbone of the police force. The Circle Cult is largely forgotten about, except for it's occasional use as a generic evil cult by horror movies.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(Worldbuilding for post-2007 world.)

(Most major cities in West USA, Europe and Mainland Asia were extremely damaged in the various large-scale conflicts, resulting in most of their buildings being destroyed and later, being replaced with the multi-layered industrial cities Kommando and later his political successors promoted while in office.)

(Examples of areas that this occurred in would be Los Angeles: It's northern and eastern half was outright obliterated in the Second Civil War by preliminary aerial bombings, followed by the actual US advance into the city and the combat ensuing in the area. Buildings as tall as just over 5,000 feet stand where North Hollywood, Glendale, Pasadena and San Bernardino used to, surrounded by multiple levels of wide, streets designed for heavy traffic and with smaller, strip mall-sized buildings with small parking lots in front of them on their edges regardless of their height above the ground. The older, downtown area doesn't get daylight levels of sunlight until a couple hours later than usual due to the newer buildings blocking the sunrise.)

(California was also split into six separate states after the world, in a manner near-identically to the failed real-life Six Californias Initiative. As a result, LA is now in West California and the US flag has 55 stars instead of 50.)

(Most of the centuries-old historical cities in Europe that had streets that were too narrow or otherwise incapable of supporting heavy motorized traffic were leveled during in the war with the EU, depending on their size and location, they were either replaced with smaller towns similar to the average American Suburban and Rural municipalities or by a Multi-Layered Industrial City, the passenger trains are extinct and the rail cargo gradually withers away more and more year after year as it gets replaced with cheaper and cheaper air travel, courtesy of Shirleyism promoting aerospace technologies above any other form of transportation.)

(Kommando's administration generally ignored or retracted arms reduction treaties and agreements, such as START, as well as developing a new generation Nuclear Warheads, including low-yield weapons similar to the Davy Crockett, Aim-26, M65 Atomic Cannon and even an entire arsenal of ICBMs equipped with warheads capable of 100 megatons. These were eventually used in a limited capacity against China, mainly to obliterate major cities and industrial centers that were seen as too difficult to properly occupy without incurring notable daily losses from insurgency. China was also split into several smaller countries, with Tibet, Hong Kong, Manchuria and Xinjiang becoming independent countries. The remainder of China was placed under the control of the Taiwanese/ROC government, which allied with Kommando's Shirleyist America due to China trying to invade them.)

(CRT TVs and Monitors are still manufactured and commonly used, Smartphones never took off in the same way they did IRL and instead resemble the PDAs of the Early-2000's, including physical buttons and often, but not always lacking touchscreens. Windows 8 never replaced the Start Menu as touchscreen tablets were less popular and Windows 10 never had an auto-update feature, Vine and subsequently Tik-Tok never existed and YouTube has actual competition. There are also Supersonic Airlines and even cargo, but in a more limited capacity as most companies prefer to stick with cheaper, subsonic cargo aircraft.)

(Culture is noticeably different, with gun-heavy action films and War movies being much more popular throughout the 2010's, even to the point that in this timeline's version of the MCU, Captain America frequently wields a customized BAR instead of using his shield as much. The riot against Bane scene The Dark Knight Rises even features the Police and Citizens of Gotham being armed and armored much heavier, with most of the Police wearing plate carriers and using M4 Carbines and Grenade Launchers and even an M249 briefly appearing. Dieselpunk is also much more popular. Music shifted away from pop and rap/hip-hop and towards Rock, Metal and Electronic.)

(There are far fewer international and intergovernmental organizations such as the UN and EU. The Middle East is still the scene of frequent armed conflicts, but they now are less the result of ME nations opposing each other, but more so citizen revolts against West-supported Shirleyist governments that attempt to modernize their countries, mainly by puritanical religious groups that violently oppose the separation of church and state. I also really want to make a flag for Shirleyist Saudi Arabia that largely resembles the real one, but bears a giant white Shirleyism logo in the top-center, with the text beneath now reading "Nobody is more important than the individual" in Arabic and a purple stripe through the middle that contains the text and the sword beneath. Just to sort of push the idea that not even the most isolated and insulated reaches of the planet have escaped the influence of Shirleyist Individualism. Africa is largely in a similar situation.)

(Also, feral Weasels and Rabbits were eradicated from New Zealand, Korea was reunified with the South taking over, Cyprus was also reunified with Northern Cyprus being dissolved during WWIII by the Shirleyists, The International Space Station was replaced with multiple much larger space stations and the US builds it's own Large Hadron Collider that dwarfs the LHC at CERN. Cuba is successfully invaded by the US and several South American countries end up economically collapsing due to the effects of the various wars and end up being bought by the Shirleyists.)

(Space travel is farther along than it is IRL, with many more manned missions taking place to the point where becoming an astronaut is a much more attainable life goal than it is IRL. Not everyone can do it, but as of 2020, there's roughly several hundred people actively working in space on some sort of mission.)

(Shitbots become an exceedingly rare sight after the Shirleyists outright ban them, to the point that alleged sightings of them become a frequent subject of tabloid headlines. Undefinables are still tightly controlled by the Shirleyists, with all Undefinables being Shirleyists, but some countries that are strongholds and bastions of Shirleyism have Undefinables as prominent components of their militaries, to the point that most of the Multi-Layered Industrial Cities even have Undefinables forming the backbone of the police force. The Circle Cult is largely forgotten about, except for it's occasional use as a generic evil cult by horror movies.)

>Shitbots become an exceedingly rare sight after the Shirleyists outright ban them, to the point that alleged sightings of them become a frequent subject of tabloid headlines…The Circle Cult is largely forgotten about, except for it's occasional use as a generic evil cult by horror movies.


"Soup, I'm banning you from the world."

"Aww man…"

"And I'm turning you into an Ancient Lovecraftian Evil with your physical manifestations being treated like the Anti-Christ."

"Woo Hoo!"

Last edited Jul 10, 2022 at 09:31AM EDT

Penal Colony Prisoners when they're successfully revolting and building bunkers out of dirt and wood to use as machine gun nests and Anti-Tank batteries, only for 6 Undefinables to show up and start shooting everybody with compact Nuclear Warheads:

Nobody:
A random Undefinable with a severe mental disorder after setting a revolting prisoner's house on fire with his pregnant wife and children inside:

Aussies and Kiwis when the Shitbots invade and take over their countries:

Kommando yelling at himself to work on the comic and art for the thread, but deciding to play GTA V and shitpost instead:

A random Californian after The US Army fills his entire neighborhood with VX Nerve Agent for seceding from the Union:

Nobody:
European villagers when they see a metric fuck ton of Undefinables approaching from the West and the Russian Army approaching from the East:

Quiet_boi after Soup King informs him that when BlĂĽtgrindor broke into the cloning facility that she inhaled Sam's Samussy, all of it to be exact:

(I wanted to get San Andreas initially, but they took it off of Steam, so I guess I'll have to pirate and emulate the PS2 version later. I picked GTA V because I had already played Chinatown Wars and found the HD Universe version of Liberty City to be oddly suffocating, plus GTA IV doesn't have a tank, while V does, and vehicle customization, and weapon customization.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(I wanted to get San Andreas initially, but they took it off of Steam, so I guess I'll have to pirate and emulate the PS2 version later. I picked GTA V because I had already played Chinatown Wars and found the HD Universe version of Liberty City to be oddly suffocating, plus GTA IV doesn't have a tank, while V does, and vehicle customization, and weapon customization.)

>IV doesn't have a tank
[Laughs in TboGT]
Also, why don't you pirate the pc version of San Andreas?
And Liberty City being suffocating? I thought you liked that style of design with towering skyscrapers and heavy industralization.

  • >"[Laughs in TboGT]"

That's an APC, not a tank, there's a huge difference. One has a massive cannon for hours of fun vaporizing everything in sight, the other doesn't.

And as for Liberty City, the roads are rather constrictive (much like NYC, which it's based off of) and there's not a lot of the highways, overpasses and huge, 8-10 lane roads where I can truly have some fun weaving through traffic doing 160 (More akin to LA, which was built much later than NYC and actually designed around automobile use, as opposed to NYC, which kinda had to retrofit itself with the end result being crowded streets which are crowded because they were designed in the 1800's for horse and foot traffic by people who probably never thought that the city would achieve a population density of 29,302.37 people per square mile.)

TL;DR: It's more fun to play a game about driving cars in a city designed around driving cars than a city designed around riding on horseback and walking.

Now the Multi-Layered Cities that appear post-2007 in this thread are extremely automobile oriented, with the multiple massive layers of highways and overpasses that all have their own buildings on them. It's much closer to LA than NYC (in fact, you could say that LA's closer to NYC than the Multi-Layered Cities in terms of design) and I'd love to actually see a GTA-style game taking place in one of them, just you get to 3 stars and Undefinables start chasing you, turning your rampage against the police into a cross between Alien: Isolation and accidentally getting too close to Territorial Rotbart on your first Xenoblade Chronicles playthrough, forcing you to dive off the sides of the roads onto the lower levels in an attempt to lose the 7-12 foot tall walking armored avatar of war and destruction wielding 20mm rotary cannons, 127mm tank guns and Hydra 70 rockets that's chasing you with the intent of turning you into lampshade for punching a random pedestrian.

And why do I go with the PS2 Version and not the PC version? Because I want to experience the game with all the licensed music intact and PC games are a bit riskier to pirate in my experience. Additionally, my PC really hates running older games, especially if they haven't been properly updated for Windows 10, so if I were to pirate the original 2004 Windows release of GTA:SA, there's a good chance it wouldn't run right or at all, emulation completely circumvents that issue.

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

  • >"[Laughs in TboGT]"

That's an APC, not a tank, there's a huge difference. One has a massive cannon for hours of fun vaporizing everything in sight, the other doesn't.

And as for Liberty City, the roads are rather constrictive (much like NYC, which it's based off of) and there's not a lot of the highways, overpasses and huge, 8-10 lane roads where I can truly have some fun weaving through traffic doing 160 (More akin to LA, which was built much later than NYC and actually designed around automobile use, as opposed to NYC, which kinda had to retrofit itself with the end result being crowded streets which are crowded because they were designed in the 1800's for horse and foot traffic by people who probably never thought that the city would achieve a population density of 29,302.37 people per square mile.)

TL;DR: It's more fun to play a game about driving cars in a city designed around driving cars than a city designed around riding on horseback and walking.

Now the Multi-Layered Cities that appear post-2007 in this thread are extremely automobile oriented, with the multiple massive layers of highways and overpasses that all have their own buildings on them. It's much closer to LA than NYC (in fact, you could say that LA's closer to NYC than the Multi-Layered Cities in terms of design) and I'd love to actually see a GTA-style game taking place in one of them, just you get to 3 stars and Undefinables start chasing you, turning your rampage against the police into a cross between Alien: Isolation and accidentally getting too close to Territorial Rotbart on your first Xenoblade Chronicles playthrough, forcing you to dive off the sides of the roads onto the lower levels in an attempt to lose the 7-12 foot tall walking armored avatar of war and destruction wielding 20mm rotary cannons, 127mm tank guns and Hydra 70 rockets that's chasing you with the intent of turning you into lampshade for punching a random pedestrian.

And why do I go with the PS2 Version and not the PC version? Because I want to experience the game with all the licensed music intact and PC games are a bit riskier to pirate in my experience. Additionally, my PC really hates running older games, especially if they haven't been properly updated for Windows 10, so if I were to pirate the original 2004 Windows release of GTA:SA, there's a good chance it wouldn't run right or at all, emulation completely circumvents that issue.

Let me ask you something, since you seem interested in emulating PS2 games, have you heard of Midnight Club? Are you interested in arcade racing games with lots of licensed music and cars on real world locations?
Because if you are, oh boy, let me tell you the holy gospel of Rockstar San Diego's first magnum opus:

And yes, it has to be the Remix version, any other version is inferior.

Last edited Jul 17, 2022 at 02:03PM EDT

(I don't usually play pure racing games much, but I'll consider throwing it in the folder whenever the next time I expand my storage space is since my Hard Drive full of ROMs is kind of, well, full.)

(I like action more anyways, it's a shame the vehicular combat genre died out in the 7th generation. 6th gen really is the best era of console gaming IMO.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(I don't usually play pure racing games much, but I'll consider throwing it in the folder whenever the next time I expand my storage space is since my Hard Drive full of ROMs is kind of, well, full.)

(I like action more anyways, it's a shame the vehicular combat genre died out in the 7th generation. 6th gen really is the best era of console gaming IMO.)

Excuse me, did you just say VEHICULAR COMBAT?!

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

Play Warjetz on PS2.

That is truly the best Vehicular Combat game, in my opinion at least.


Have you ever tried out Roadkill?
It's like Twisted Metal meets GTA, it's even got a PC remake on the works made by fans.
Just look at it (The original game for PS2, OG Xbox and Gamecube) :

And the remake be like:

Also, I forgot to mention it but Midnight Club 3 and it's succesor Midnight Club L.A. (Exclusive for PS3 and 360 but you can use backwards compatability to play the 360 version on Xbox One and Series X/S) do have some elements of vehicular combat, since all the cars have special abilities like slow-motion and more accurate driving or damage inmunity and such, and in L.A. you can put any ability on any vehicle, even bikes.

Last edited Jul 17, 2022 at 04:25PM EDT

The Mutant Rat Folk of City 17 calling upon Shirley to deliver Deez Nuts down upon them.



Soup King informing Kaijin that he stole his entire hentai stash and brought it down to hell with him.



A Neo-Circle Cultist being punished for summoning the Undeserving Circle purely for the purpose of having someone to listen to their awful slam poetry.



Quiet_boi completing his promotion to Super-Duper Pope of the Neo-Circle Cultists



(Honestly, in terms of camoflauge, I'd either go with US Woodland or just solid forest green or just black.)

(Also since the TOG II Shitbots/Shitbot Brawlers are just rank-and-file footsoldiers, albeit very heavily armed and armored ones, they still get killed fairly regularly. I was thinking of having one get hit in it's turret while it's reloading, detonating the round very prematurely, resulting in the turret exploding and decapitating the Brawler, killing it.)

(Also thinking of having one get it's knees shot off while it's shielding some smaller Shitbots, resulting in it falling on top of them, with all of them dying as a result.)

(Also thinking of having it being a common occurrence of smaller, faster, more agile Undefinables climbing on top of the slower, hulking and clunky Shitbot Brawlers and destroying them by shooting them point blank in the top of the head, or in a torso joint.)

(So, does anyone have any favorite or most hated characters when it comes to my OCs?)

(My personal favorites, of the ones already revealed: Kommando, BlĂĽtgrindor, all four members of CIDI (The MacMadeth Twins, Hera Smithson and Lee Dixon), Shirley Estelleton, Kitty Hawk, Scarlette Bolide, Bex and Castiellea are pretty high up there, but there's also some more that I'm excited to eventually introduce into the thread, but not yet. Thurzia, who was mentioned a while back, is one character I'm extremely eager to begin working on once it's time for her to show up in the story.)

Kommando_Kaijin wrote:

(So, does anyone have any favorite or most hated characters when it comes to my OCs?)

(My personal favorites, of the ones already revealed: Kommando, BlĂĽtgrindor, all four members of CIDI (The MacMadeth Twins, Hera Smithson and Lee Dixon), Shirley Estelleton, Kitty Hawk, Scarlette Bolide, Bex and Castiellea are pretty high up there, but there's also some more that I'm excited to eventually introduce into the thread, but not yet. Thurzia, who was mentioned a while back, is one character I'm extremely eager to begin working on once it's time for her to show up in the story.)

I'm apathetic towards Kitty, Bex… is that the texan one? cuz' that's my fave, and only because she drives a Camaro, Shirley is cute but being the main idol of shirleyism puts her low on my list, Kommando is only fun when Soup King finds ways to torture him, which are usually funny, and Blütgrindor is #1 on my list to break steel chairs on.

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