martinprince12345

"Friend inside me" sounds like Woody has a Xenomorph Chestburster in his stomach. Only instead of a xenomorph it's one of the three-eyed green aliens.

“A friend. From the inside. Oooooohhhhhhhh!”

Wait, that logic implies that saying slurs automatically disqualifies you from ALL jobs. Not only is that a bit of an exaggeration, but given the money to be made from far-right podcasts and similar stuff, i'd say in these times saying slurs closes some doors but actually opens a few others, i very much doubt "provocateurs" will run out of lucrative avenues anytime soon…

I don't think that NFL player needed the "career boster" given that being an NFL player is already a head start in that regard

Ok but now you gotta commit to the bit and post a short of yourself saying the word "ass" in a breathy voice 17 times

Apple Idiocy

So, how long until she appears as a guest in a far-right podcast where the main topic is "PC cancel culture"

Slop²

Really?? That's hilarious lmfao

That just reminds me that Pizza Tower should've won it last year

Only in the videogame though

Convicted felon at that. I know US politics are weird but the fact that being convicted in a court of law isn't an automatic disqualification is supremely baffling to me.

God i hope this shitpost of a game is actually super competent so that it gets a nomination for the Game Awards or some shit like that, imagine the ceremony featuring "Generic Blockbuster Videogame GOTY Contenders" alongside a fucking coffee bean with guns

G H O S T S A R E S H I T T Y

Of course, they're mad that he's shitting himself without wearing diapers, everyone knows real men wear diapers

When it's too fucking sunny in Philadelphia:

It's missing this one:

So, this can:

A) Piss off conservatives because "muh flags everywhere"
B) Make conservatives happy because they can go for the "deranged transgender shooter" gotcha
C) Piss off LGBT+ people because they're sensitive about being associated with guns
D) Make LGBT+ people happy because they can "own teh chuds"
E) All of the above

So a win-win for everyone, i guess…?

Or, if he needs more horsepower:

Elon Musk after a whole beehive stung his face

Is that meant to be "evil"? He honestly looks like he just farted

I'll give you my cordless hole puncher when you take it from my cordless, dead glove holders