United States of America - OK, who put a Sims player in charge of USA's civil engineering..?

The Virgin McDonalds:
Advertises that they sell real food, fooling nobody
Several different menu items that somehow all blend together
Renowned as 'the cheap food', will still dent your pocketbook
Milkshake machine always broken, will never give you the cream
Initially an instantly popular hot dog stand, degraded to sterile burger assembly line for efficiency.

The Chad Taco Bell:
Advertises to stoners, no shame
Literally every menu item is a different geometric arrangement of the same 3-4 ingredients, still somehow easy to differentiate
Renowned as fake Mexican, is actually the cheapest fast food place
Drowns bitches with his Mountain Dew Baja Blast
Initially a barely successful hot dog stand, stole the secrets of the taco from the Mexicans who were beating him and dominated them at their own game.

Okay so I created an account just to ask this since no one seems to notice
Why is Diogenes in the Exxon parking lot?