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266 Views Created 10 years ago By Brad • Updated 6 years ago

Created By Brad • Updated 6 years ago

Mushrooms are empirically disgusting. They are the worm-iest of foods. Worms or mushrooms?? YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL. Mushrooms are literally fungus. Did you know that the FDA legally allows 19 maggots and 74 mites in every 3.5- ounce can of mushrooms!! Mushrooms taste like nothing unless you coat them in oils and spices. They are slimy weird bulb food!! Mushrooms are the surprise ruiner of many a pasta. Some of them LOOK LIKE BRAINS. Mushrooms look like garbage thrown on a pizza. They're weird and puffy and scary. Everyone thinksS vegetarians want a portobello mushroom sandwich or burger. Mushrooms are a poor and creepy excuse for a meat substitute. AHHH IS IT TOUCHING ME? I FEEL LIKE IT'S TOUCHING ME. Mushrooms make a very unpleasantly colored soup. THIS IS AN UNHOLY UNION OF LIFE (ZUCCHINI) AND CRUEL, SENSELESS DEATH (MUSHROOM CARCASSES). Does this sound at all appetizing??? A mushroom once told me it hated puppies AND Beyoncé Thanks for nothing, mushrooms. You are not a fun guy Posted at 5:51 PM 359 notes Permalink
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