92 Views • Created 11 months ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 11 months ago Share →
Created By Reddit Moments • Updated 11 months ago
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92 Views • Created 11 months ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 11 months ago Share →
![Anonymous Mon 30 May 2022 16:44:15 No.68844956 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>68844969 >>68845016 >>68845580 >>68845790 >>68845880 >>68845912 >>68846157 >>68846994 >Drinking with friends >Topic turns to relationships (I'm the only single person in the group) >Every girl there starts talking about what I need to do to get a girlfriend [24/1/12] >One of them says "Really, you just need to settle for anyone who'll give you the time of day, anon" >I reply with "Why can't I find someone who'll fall in love with me instead?" >All the girls there give me this pitying look, like they're looking at blind kid who says he wants to be a pilot one day >"Anon, girls don't fall in love with guys who are balding"](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/445/310/0c7.png)
![Momlife_comics Ripe Peach meme and webcomic with the caption "One of the [many] differences between me & my husband."](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/041/299/momlife_comics.jpg){kind=icon}
![File: Screenshot 2024-07-17 8.2(...).png (98 KB, 282x312) Anonymous 07/17/24(Wed)20:48:41 No.78189174 [Reply] >>78189614 Im so f------ dumb >me be, horny retard >decide to do butt stuff >dont have dildo, but i do have a broken handle that looks like the perfect size and shape >hide away in washroom with handle, lube, and banana >i was so f------ horny I thought i could fit a banana up there >try with banana, doesnt fit, by the end of it its covered in lube and all mushy >whatever, use handle >achieve brain breaking orgasm >finish cleaning everything up >dont know what to do with banana, cant put it back in kitchen cuz ew, cant throw it away cuz what if someone finds it >think of brilliant idea, decide to flush HALF of it down the toilet >toilet clogs >think nothing of it, and start using plunger >toilet flushes, think ive unclogged it, water starts rising but stops >use plunger again, same thing happens >start getting nervous, continue plungering >worst thing that can happen, happens >my dad comes home from gym >have no choice but to leave washroom >wait in room while he goes to the washroom >feels like an eternity, start getting light headed at the thought of him finding the banana and somehow Sherlock Holmes-ing his way to figuring out i tried putting it up my butt >heart starts racing, begin feeling light headed, hear the washroom door open >he comes out and asks why i wasnt picking up his calls, explain i was in the washroom for 30+ minutes cuz had to go big number 2 >he says that explains why the toilet was clogged, and goes to the living room >i rush in and check to see if the toilet is truly unclogged, it is I dont know why im so f------ stupid, i seriously cant explain it oh and if youre wondering what happened to the other half of the banana... i threw it away i dont know why i didnt just throw the whole thing away](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/863/947/5d1.png)
![File: Screenshot 2024-07-17 8.2(...).png (98 KB, 282x312) Anonymous 07/17/24(Wed)20:48:41 No.78189174 [Reply] >>78189614 Im so f------ dumb >me be, horny retard >decide to do butt stuff >dont have dildo, but i do have a broken handle that looks like the perfect size and shape >hide away in washroom with handle, lube, and banana >i was so f------ horny I thought i could fit a banana up there >try with banana, doesnt fit, by the end of it its covered in lube and all mushy >whatever, use handle >achieve brain breaking orgasm >finish cleaning everything up >dont know what to do with banana, cant put it back in kitchen cuz ew, cant throw it away cuz what if someone finds it >think of brilliant idea, decide to flush HALF of it down the toilet >toilet clogs >think nothing of it, and start using plunger >toilet flushes, think ive unclogged it, water starts rising but stops >use plunger again, same thing happens >start getting nervous, continue plungering >worst thing that can happen, happens >my dad comes home from gym >have no choice but to leave washroom >wait in room while he goes to the washroom >feels like an eternity, start getting light headed at the thought of him finding the banana and somehow Sherlock Holmes-ing his way to figuring out i tried putting it up my butt >heart starts racing, begin feeling light headed, hear the washroom door open >he comes out and asks why i wasnt picking up his calls, explain i was in the washroom for 30+ minutes cuz had to go big number 2 >he says that explains why the toilet was clogged, and goes to the living room >i rush in and check to see if the toilet is truly unclogged, it is I dont know why im so f------ stupid, i seriously cant explain it oh and if youre wondering what happened to the other half of the banana... i threw it away i dont know why i didnt just throw the whole thing away](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/863/947/5d1.png)
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