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Created By Reddit Moments • Updated about a year ago

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wild card. | /r/memes

When someone goes rogue in the comment chain. We' Are Fone Dildo! dreamstime.
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    Katie Brinson 1h. I try to find humor in everything, because honestly, if you don't laugh why are you even alive? Most of my friends know that I almost died in 2022. I got hit in the head by a 100lb solid wood beam when the swing in my gazebo collapsed. I was lucky because my husband called 911 and the ambulance was able to get me to the trauma center immediately. So. Much. Blood I received 17 staples in my head, about 10 stitches and a cool forehead scar. I had busted teeth that had to be fixed by a trauma dentist, a swollen forehead that looked like a cartoon character, black eyes and a jacked up arm, neck and wrist. The doctor had to cut a large chunk of my hair down to the scalp to do the staples. I refer to that as my Britney Spears Hair. Anywho, .. I still cannot turn my head all the way to the left, and so, people like me are the reason the Sideview mirrors light up when a car is near, because if we had to turn to look at the blind spot, we'd swerve off the road. I also wound up with a Grade 3 concussion and moderate TBI, causing a small cyst on my brain. It's cool, that's normal. The memory loss and processing mixups after a TBI are LEGIT. I had to use GPS for months, and I still sometimes mix up words when I speak. It's super frustrating, and sometimes it makes me want to cry. Mostly, it's at the end of the day when I'm tired, and I'm talking to the kids and I'll say something like "please sweep the trash" instead of "please sweep the floor", because I was also thinking about the trash going out, too. Y'all should have heard me try to read Green Eggs and Ham to the twins a few weeks after I was able to get out of bed. It was BAD. You may as well have asked me to read an encyclopedia in Mandarin. It was the same. I literally couldn't get the words off the page into my brain, process them and then say them out loud. I put the book down and cried. The absolutely hilarious, ridiculous and ironic part is that the part of my brain related. to my job - mortgages- somehow remains perfectly intact. Those neuropathways run deep into my soul, so when the beam hit me in the head that part of my brain was like 'Whatever, are we working today or laying in bed trying to overcome vertigo? Lame!" So, my point is that I can recall with nearly perfect clarity the most OBSCURE weird underwriting guidelines buried in AllRegs, but.. sometimes, I forget Regular People Words. So, this evening as I was fixing a plate of dinner, I was able to run through everything I've done at work all day, calculate the average number of ounces per hour that I need to drink based on the average number of hours I am awake each day to hit 1 gallon/ day (It's 7.314 calculated as 128 ounces divided by an average amount of 17.5 hours awake per day) so, as you can see, my math abilities are still stellar BUT... I was trying to get the pork tenderloin out of the crockpot and needed a utensil. I knew we owned this utensil, but for the life of me I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHAT THE HELL IT WAS CALLED! OMG I was so mad!!! Finally, so that I could communicate to Greg what I needed out of the drawer, I turned around and asked him for the food tweezers. He looked at me for a minute, and being accustomed to my memory challenges, knew immediately that I was asking for the BBQ tongs. TBI's are fun, y'all

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