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Greentext Stories

128 Views • Created 3 years ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 3 years ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated 3 years ago

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Anon has a deep thought | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:40:38 No.64191077 >theres probably a cute blonde girl pooping somewhere right now 50 KB PNG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)20:43:46 No.64191120 >>64191077 (OP). HHERE I wonder if her poop smells like candy and rainbows 86 KB JPG
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Greentext Stories

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    7-OH Kratom: Unleash Your Natural Potential Unveiling Nature's Wisdom: 7-OH Kratom Mitragyna Speciosa This is the main psychoactive ingredient, likely appearing in the greatest amount within the 600mg proprietary blend Mitragynine This is a specific alkaloid naturally occurring in Kratom leaves, contributing to its psychoactive effects. 70H 7-Hydroxymitragynine 30 servings - 14mg per tablet 15 tablets Theobromine Another stimulant sometimes compared to caffeine, but with milder effects. Kratom is a powerful substance. Do not use without consulting your doctor. May cause serious side effects. Keep out of reach of children. Full disclaimer inside

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    Captain Salomon, a dentist who you would listen to when he tells you to floss. | History Memes

    Sometimes he shows people how to floss and brush their teeth. 933 Sometimes he covers the evacuation of an aid station, killing 98 Japanese troops before succumbing to up to 24 wounds.
    Sometimes he shows people how to floss and brush their teeth. 933 Sometimes he covers the evacuation of an aid station, killing 98 Japanese troops before succumbing to up to 24 wounds.

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    Tyranids are immune to the warp Cover self in Tyranids Go into the eye of terror ¿Problema Chaos? I'm gonna peg him
    Tyranids are immune to the warp Cover self in Tyranids Go into the eye of terror ¿Problema Chaos? I'm gonna peg him

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    Bro finishes the work of aeons, and Mortarion is like "Ok, but why don't it look cool." | /r/grimdank

    When Mortarion gets upset about what vial the disease is in THIS IS GODBLIGHT BITCH!!!! obliterate we souls with this muthafucka betta take yo sensitive ass back to physical ailments
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    History doesn't repeat, but it does rhyme | History Memes

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    Anonymous 07/28/24(Sun)13:35:42 No.74793668 What would happen if we introduced flags to this board? Should we do it? 643 KB PNG Anonymous First board with no Indians 07/28/24(Sun)14:52:22 No.74794184
    Anonymous 07/28/24(Sun)13:35:42 No.74793668 What would happen if we introduced flags to this board? Should we do it? 643 KB PNG Anonymous First board with no Indians 07/28/24(Sun)14:52:22 No.74794184

    Greentext Stories
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    Me and homies when we start a new Minecraft server L
    Me and homies when we start a new Minecraft server L

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    I almost died, so I try to find a reason to laugh about it every day. Anyone else? | /r/wholesomememes

    Katie Brinson 1h. I try to find humor in everything, because honestly, if you don't laugh why are you even alive? Most of my friends know that I almost died in 2022. I got hit in the head by a 100lb solid wood beam when the swing in my gazebo collapsed. I was lucky because my husband called 911 and the ambulance was able to get me to the trauma center immediately. So. Much. Blood I received 17 staples in my head, about 10 stitches and a cool forehead scar. I had busted teeth that had to be fixed by a trauma dentist, a swollen forehead that looked like a cartoon character, black eyes and a jacked up arm, neck and wrist. The doctor had to cut a large chunk of my hair down to the scalp to do the staples. I refer to that as my Britney Spears Hair. Anywho, .. I still cannot turn my head all the way to the left, and so, people like me are the reason the Sideview mirrors light up when a car is near, because if we had to turn to look at the blind spot, we'd swerve off the road. I also wound up with a Grade 3 concussion and moderate TBI, causing a small cyst on my brain. It's cool, that's normal. The memory loss and processing mixups after a TBI are LEGIT. I had to use GPS for months, and I still sometimes mix up words when I speak. It's super frustrating, and sometimes it makes me want to cry. Mostly, it's at the end of the day when I'm tired, and I'm talking to the kids and I'll say something like "please sweep the trash" instead of "please sweep the floor", because I was also thinking about the trash going out, too. Y'all should have heard me try to read Green Eggs and Ham to the twins a few weeks after I was able to get out of bed. It was BAD. You may as well have asked me to read an encyclopedia in Mandarin. It was the same. I literally couldn't get the words off the page into my brain, process them and then say them out loud. I put the book down and cried. The absolutely hilarious, ridiculous and ironic part is that the part of my brain related. to my job - mortgages- somehow remains perfectly intact. Those neuropathways run deep into my soul, so when the beam hit me in the head that part of my brain was like 'Whatever, are we working today or laying in bed trying to overcome vertigo? Lame!" So, my point is that I can recall with nearly perfect clarity the most OBSCURE weird underwriting guidelines buried in AllRegs, but.. sometimes, I forget Regular People Words. So, this evening as I was fixing a plate of dinner, I was able to run through everything I've done at work all day, calculate the average number of ounces per hour that I need to drink based on the average number of hours I am awake each day to hit 1 gallon/ day (It's 7.314 calculated as 128 ounces divided by an average amount of 17.5 hours awake per day) so, as you can see, my math abilities are still stellar BUT... I was trying to get the pork tenderloin out of the crockpot and needed a utensil. I knew we owned this utensil, but for the life of me I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHAT THE HELL IT WAS CALLED! OMG I was so mad!!! Finally, so that I could communicate to Greg what I needed out of the drawer, I turned around and asked him for the food tweezers. He looked at me for a minute, and being accustomed to my memory challenges, knew immediately that I was asking for the BBQ tongs. TBI's are fun, y'all
    Katie Brinson 1h. I try to find humor in everything, because honestly, if you don't laugh why are you even alive? Most of my friends know that I almost died in 2022. I got hit in the head by a 100lb solid wood beam when the swing in my gazebo collapsed. I was lucky because my husband called 911 and the ambulance was able to get me to the trauma center immediately. So. Much. Blood I received 17 staples in my head, about 10 stitches and a cool forehead scar. I had busted teeth that had to be fixed by a trauma dentist, a swollen forehead that looked like a cartoon character, black eyes and a jacked up arm, neck and wrist. The doctor had to cut a large chunk of my hair down to the scalp to do the staples. I refer to that as my Britney Spears Hair. Anywho, .. I still cannot turn my head all the way to the left, and so, people like me are the reason the Sideview mirrors light up when a car is near, because if we had to turn to look at the blind spot, we'd swerve off the road. I also wound up with a Grade 3 concussion and moderate TBI, causing a small cyst on my brain. It's cool, that's normal. The memory loss and processing mixups after a TBI are LEGIT. I had to use GPS for months, and I still sometimes mix up words when I speak. It's super frustrating, and sometimes it makes me want to cry. Mostly, it's at the end of the day when I'm tired, and I'm talking to the kids and I'll say something like "please sweep the trash" instead of "please sweep the floor", because I was also thinking about the trash going out, too. Y'all should have heard me try to read Green Eggs and Ham to the twins a few weeks after I was able to get out of bed. It was BAD. You may as well have asked me to read an encyclopedia in Mandarin. It was the same. I literally couldn't get the words off the page into my brain, process them and then say them out loud. I put the book down and cried. The absolutely hilarious, ridiculous and ironic part is that the part of my brain related. to my job - mortgages- somehow remains perfectly intact. Those neuropathways run deep into my soul, so when the beam hit me in the head that part of my brain was like 'Whatever, are we working today or laying in bed trying to overcome vertigo? Lame!" So, my point is that I can recall with nearly perfect clarity the most OBSCURE weird underwriting guidelines buried in AllRegs, but.. sometimes, I forget Regular People Words. So, this evening as I was fixing a plate of dinner, I was able to run through everything I've done at work all day, calculate the average number of ounces per hour that I need to drink based on the average number of hours I am awake each day to hit 1 gallon/ day (It's 7.314 calculated as 128 ounces divided by an average amount of 17.5 hours awake per day) so, as you can see, my math abilities are still stellar BUT... I was trying to get the pork tenderloin out of the crockpot and needed a utensil. I knew we owned this utensil, but for the life of me I COULD NOT REMEMBER WHAT THE HELL IT WAS CALLED! OMG I was so mad!!! Finally, so that I could communicate to Greg what I needed out of the drawer, I turned around and asked him for the food tweezers. He looked at me for a minute, and being accustomed to my memory challenges, knew immediately that I was asking for the BBQ tongs. TBI's are fun, y'all

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    When a woman says 5 minutes, think like 5 minutes left in the fourth quarter and both teams have all of their timeouts. Wilso TUNS ANGELE
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    Nurgle's Top follower | /r/grimdank

    ☑ Q r/The10thDentist u/BalamCorpOfficial • 2d Infected human flesh smells good to me, especially my own. Health/Safety Join At least to me, I think pus and stuff like that smells tolerable, if it is my own flesh that's infected it smells amazing. I wouldn't treat an infected wound if it wasn't a hazard to my health. Burned flesh also smells good, but I'm not counting that since that's a more common opinion and I've only ever smelled my own in that case. The smell is sweet and, though sickly, I find it to be almost soothing, I like it. In my opinion the pus is what smells the best, the rest is just tolerable. 2,487 336 Comments D 572
    ☑ Q r/The10thDentist u/BalamCorpOfficial • 2d Infected human flesh smells good to me, especially my own. Health/Safety Join At least to me, I think pus and stuff like that smells tolerable, if it is my own flesh that's infected it smells amazing. I wouldn't treat an infected wound if it wasn't a hazard to my health. Burned flesh also smells good, but I'm not counting that since that's a more common opinion and I've only ever smelled my own in that case. The smell is sweet and, though sickly, I find it to be almost soothing, I like it. In my opinion the pus is what smells the best, the rest is just tolerable. 2,487 336 Comments D 572

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    603 likes when I wake up this morning! | Bumble

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    hev M Premium was working for you while you were gone... 603 people liked you! ✓ You've got 1 chat which expires soon! Get swiping

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    His story makes him an even madder lad | /r/madlads

    Dikec Yusuf, who only recently took up shooting after a particularly heated argument with his ex-wife, credits his success to his newfound passion for seeing his kids and a relentless drive to prove his ex wrong. "I never thought I'd be here," Yusuf said, shrugging nonchalantly. "I was just aiming for a weekend. with the kids." The 52-year-old, who works as a mechanic in a small garage in Istanbul, first picked up a gun during a particularly frustrating divorce mediation. His unorthodox approach - no specialty gear, no training regimen, and a wardrobe consisting of his everyday jeans and a T-shirt - has baffled professional shooters. "He just shows up, shoots a near perfect round, and then asks if there's a smoking area nearby." After winning silver, Yusuf stood emotionless on the Olympic podium and declared, "Sharon, if you're watching this, I want my dog back." PARIS102Y TURKIYE
    Dikec Yusuf, who only recently took up shooting after a particularly heated argument with his ex-wife, credits his success to his newfound passion for seeing his kids and a relentless drive to prove his ex wrong. "I never thought I'd be here," Yusuf said, shrugging nonchalantly. "I was just aiming for a weekend. with the kids." The 52-year-old, who works as a mechanic in a small garage in Istanbul, first picked up a gun during a particularly frustrating divorce mediation. His unorthodox approach - no specialty gear, no training regimen, and a wardrobe consisting of his everyday jeans and a T-shirt - has baffled professional shooters. "He just shows up, shoots a near perfect round, and then asks if there's a smoking area nearby." After winning silver, Yusuf stood emotionless on the Olympic podium and declared, "Sharon, if you're watching this, I want my dog back." PARIS102Y TURKIYE

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    The poor lictor who landed on catachan made with mematic 50 jacked lunatics with head bands
    The poor lictor who landed on catachan made with mematic 50 jacked lunatics with head bands

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    When people only remember you for being a racist imperialist | History Memes

    People blaming Churchill for the Bengal famine asked his transport minister how they could be sent food ordering the military under Wavell's direction to transport aid into Bengal www "Every effort must be made, even by the diversion of shipping urgently needed for war purposes, to deal with local shortages." asking the US and Australia to send aid Asked the US to send ships and aid to India Churchill push for whatever famine relief efforts India itself could provide
    People blaming Churchill for the Bengal famine asked his transport minister how they could be sent food ordering the military under Wavell's direction to transport aid into Bengal www "Every effort must be made, even by the diversion of shipping urgently needed for war purposes, to deal with local shortages." asking the US and Australia to send aid Asked the US to send ships and aid to India Churchill push for whatever famine relief efforts India itself could provide

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    "Now we Lannisters will also be Blood of the Dragon, Cersei!" | /r/FreeFolk

    If Tywin Lannister was Team Black. Cersei you will marry Vhagar
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