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Ancient Aliens

432 Views • Created 3 years ago By cfjulian • Updated 3 years ago

Created By cfjulian • Updated 3 years ago

Anubis Presents: Alien Theorists are Idiots

Anubis Presents: If You Think Aliens Built The Pyramids Then You Are An Idiot and | Am Going To Tell You Why You Are Wrong. GET OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE... ARGH! THAT'S IT! NO MORE MISTER NICE DEATH GOD. I'M PUTTING THIS AILEN NONSENSE OUT OF ITS MISERY. AS I WILL SHOW YOU, THERE IS A VERY CLEAR PROGRESSION FROM THE EARLY TOMBS AND PYRAMIDS TO THE HUGE MONUMENTS WE ASSOCIATE WITH EGYPT TODAY. AND NONE OF IT HAS TO DO WITH EXTRATERRESTRIALS. AROUND 2670 BC, THE PHARAOH DJOSER DECIDED TO TAKE THE CONCEPT A STEP FARTHER, AND HAD THE ARCHITECT IMHOTEP DESIGN A SERIES OF MASTABAS ONE ON TOP OF THE OTHER, CREATING THE FIRST STEP PYRAMID. WHAT? YUP WE BUILT THOSE. NO! NO NO TOTALLY. NO! EARLIER PHARAOHS WERE NOT BURIED IN PYRAMIDS, BUT IN MASTABAS, WHICH WERE FLAT TOPPED STONE TOMBS. EVENTUALLY, THE PHARAOH SENEFERU DECIDED HE WANTED HIS OWN PYRAMID, AND MADE A STEP PYRAMID LIKE DJOSER, CALLED THE MEDIUM PYRAMID. HOWEVER, THE PHARAOH CHANGED HIS MIND HALFWAY THROUGH CONSTRUCTION, AND DECIDED HE WANTED HIS PYRAMID TO HAVE SMOOTH SIDES.. WORK OUT TOO WELL, AND THE PYRAMID BEGAN TO COLLAPSE. SENEFERU GAVE UP ON THE MEDIUM PYRAMID, AND STARTED A NEW PROJECT. HOWEVER, HIS ENGENEERS MADE A MISTAKE AGAIN, AND BUILT THE PYRAMIP AT TOO SHARP OF AN ANGLE. RATHER THAN RISK IT COLLAPSING AGAIN, THEY CONTINUED THE CONSTRUCTION AT A DIFFERENT ANGLE, RESULTING IN THE BÉNT PYRAMID. BUT, 3RD TIME IS THE CHARM, AND FINALLY THE ARCHETECTS GOT THE JOB RIGHT WITH THE RED PYRAMID, WHICH IS STILL THE 3RD LARGEST EGYPTIAN PYRAMID IN EXISTANÇE. THE RED PYRAMID OF SNEFERU BEARS A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO THE LATER PYRAMIDS OF KHUFU AND KHAFRA. THIS DID NOT This pyramid is a glorious monument to trial and error. IT WAS SENEFERU'S SON AND GRANDSON WHO PERFECTED THE ART OF PYRAMID BUILDING. HIS SON KHUFU BUILT THE GREAT PYRAMID, WHICH IS STILL THE LARGEST EVER. HIS GRANDSON KHAFRA BUILT THE SEÇOND LARGEST. BOTH THESE PYRAMIDS SHOW THE INFLUENCE OF THE ENGINEERING KNOWLEDGE GAINED BEYOND THE VISIBLE EVIDENÇE OF THE PYRAMIDS THEMSELVES, WE ALSO HAVE THE WRITTEN RECORDS OF THE PEOPLE WHO WORKED ON THE SE MASSIVE TOMBS, AND ARCHEOLOGISTS HAVE FOUND THE PHYSICAL TOOLS AND DEVICES USED TO BUILD THE SE MONUMENTS. THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS THEMSELVES LEFT US DRAWINGS AND DEPICTIONS OF HOW THEY CUT THE STONES AND MOVED THEM AROUND. HECK, WE'VE EVEN UNCOVERED QUARRIES FULL OF UNFINISHED STONES THAT WERE IN THE PROCESS OF BEING SHAPED FOR USE IN THE PYRAMIDS. THERE CAN BE NO REAL DOUBT THAT THE SE ANCIENT WONDERS WERE THE ORIGINAL CREATIONS OF THE PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN EGYPT AT THAT TIME. SAYING THAT ALIENS HAD A HAND IN THEIR CONSTRUCTION IS STUPIDITY AND IGNORANCE AT BEST, AND AN INSULT TO THE EGYPTIANS AT WORST. IT'S SAD THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE SO EAGER TO DISCARD THE ANCIENT ACHIEVEMENTS OF AN ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE IN ORDER TO FIT A "THEORY" THAT MAKES NO SENSE. BTW, This is the Great Pyramid of Khufu. FROM THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE OLDER PYRAMIDS. NOT ONLY THAT, SAYING THE PYRAMIDS WERE BUILT BY ANYONE OTHER THAN THE EGYPTIANS IS REALLY JUST A RIDICULOUS WAY OF SAYING THAT YOU DON'T THINK THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS (OR HUMANS IN GENERAL) WERE SMART ENOUGH TO BUILD SOMETHING SO AWESOME. Not this one. IN OTHER WORDS, IF YOU THINK THE PYRAMIDS WERE BUILT BY ALIENS, YOU'RE NOT JUST AN IDIOT, YOU'RE A RACIST.
Origin Entry:

Ancient Aliens

Source

Deviantart

Notes

Author's Note:

"I figured I'd go ahead and post this little rant comic of mine before work. I'll update it some more once I get back.
Some of you may be familiar with the show "Ancient Aliens," and the works of popular authors who support the insane "theories" of that show. I hate watching AA because anyone with the tiniest knowledge of archaeology or logic can see that every idea they present is either a completely false dilemma, a terribly altered fact, or an outright lie made to deceive the viewer. The fact that people actually watch and believe that nonsense is an eternal headache for me, and an unfortunate reminder that 49 percent of the population is below average.
Ancient Aliens, and shows like it, bank on the fact that very few people will bother to call them out on their BS. It takes about 30 seconds to disprove most of the Ancient Aliens "theories" by using a search engine and Wikipedia, so the only reasons why anyone would continue to believe in the Alien stuff are sheer apathy and willful ignorance. It makes me sad to think that so many people buy into this crap wholeheartedly, and never bother to question the things being presented to them through television and books. If you yourself believe this nonsense, then you are doing nothing but cheapening the accomplishments of our ancestors, and belittling the efforts of people who actually seek to uncover the truth through hard science and painstaking research.
Sadly, there are several people I know personally who continue to believe these alien stories, despite all evidence to the contrary. There is a word for that kind of behavior, and it's called "religion."
So sorry all you alien theorists. You have a stupid religion."

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