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Greentext Stories

133 Views • Created 3 years ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 3 years ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated 3 years ago

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Anon takes girlfriend out for dinner | /r/Greentext

2/4· NNH627HR (OP) 2m (3/29 14:11) · 314222397 COO >>314221934 (OP) > be me > Forgets date of supposed return of BLM >Takes Girlfriend out for dinner > Takes sip, and looks up at door to see 5 guys in tactical gear, and ARs > Chokes on drink >Guys walk in and sit down > Lean guns on wall and eat meal Oh... today is that day huh?
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Greentext Stories

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    Raid them

    johnnycrass Follow faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid helloitsbees Follow harry houdini to his wife after a long exhausting dinner with arthur conan doyle ...
    johnnycrass Follow faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid helloitsbees Follow harry houdini to his wife after a long exhausting dinner with arthur conan doyle ...

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    The Big Mac scale

    eggil 601 Nov 6, 2022 Follow Biggest indicator of US decline: You could buy 6 BigMacs with 1 hour of minimum wage in 1980, but today you can't even buy one, despite minimum wage more than doubling. 1980 2022 Minimum Wage 3.10 7.25 Big Mac 0.50 8.00 BM's per hour 6.20 0.91 It's over. crownedpatriot11 Nov 6, 2022 Fs for the USA 601 Follow quendergeer Follow Nov 16, 2022 explaining purchasing power collapse to an american: imagine no burger 104,397 notes D
    eggil 601 Nov 6, 2022 Follow Biggest indicator of US decline: You could buy 6 BigMacs with 1 hour of minimum wage in 1980, but today you can't even buy one, despite minimum wage more than doubling. 1980 2022 Minimum Wage 3.10 7.25 Big Mac 0.50 8.00 BM's per hour 6.20 0.91 It's over. crownedpatriot11 Nov 6, 2022 Fs for the USA 601 Follow quendergeer Follow Nov 16, 2022 explaining purchasing power collapse to an american: imagine no burger 104,397 notes D

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    Crowbar cat

    jarnt8 Follow "Oh no! This resonance cascade has introduced hostile alien wildlife into the Black Mesa facility! How ever am I going to defend myself???" The humble crowbar: 9,116 notes 3 D
    jarnt8 Follow "Oh no! This resonance cascade has introduced hostile alien wildlife into the Black Mesa facility! How ever am I going to defend myself???" The humble crowbar: 9,116 notes 3 D

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    Fair enough

    falsedetective i'm absolutely screaming my 6th graders had to write essays about their favorite celebrities and one girl wrote hers about abraham lincoln falsedetective please remember that i don't live in america, this is a 12 year old korean girl and when asked about her favorite celebrity her mind automatically jumped to the 16th president of the united states
    falsedetective i'm absolutely screaming my 6th graders had to write essays about their favorite celebrities and one girl wrote hers about abraham lincoln falsedetective please remember that i don't live in america, this is a 12 year old korean girl and when asked about her favorite celebrity her mind automatically jumped to the 16th president of the united states

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    I'm impressed honestly

    valtsv reblogged kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd kaijuno Follow +0 Boyfriend tells me I'm banned from fixing things around the house now >:( kaijuno God forbid women do anything #VALshrue ...
    valtsv reblogged kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd kaijuno Follow +0 Boyfriend tells me I'm banned from fixing things around the house now >:( kaijuno God forbid women do anything #VALshrue ...

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    Pokémon in real life

    gamegrrl Follow i have this friend, his name's jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family's had it ever since mamalalonde now we call him "got a cat" jamal
    gamegrrl Follow i have this friend, his name's jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family's had it ever since mamalalonde now we call him "got a cat" jamal

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    MHA

    free hombre @King_Naruto MHA ended with: Deku being quirkless No plot advancement No big ending for Deku Shigaraki just dying without a fight at the end A reasonable ending X Plot holes being tied up X Deku's dad being revealed X Biggest ship in the series DOAX #MHA430 0:01
    free hombre @King_Naruto MHA ended with: Deku being quirkless No plot advancement No big ending for Deku Shigaraki just dying without a fight at the end A reasonable ending X Plot holes being tied up X Deku's dad being revealed X Biggest ship in the series DOAX #MHA430 0:01

    My Hero Academia Ending Controversy / Quirkless Deku
    mha

    Trees in the way

    jasminslibrary On the bus and just watched a sixish year old girl walk into a tree because she was reading and keep going without looking away from her page. Good on you, random girl, I've been there too. Keep walking. Keep reading. ladybookmad she's going places wwwwwagnetic Mostly into trees.
    jasminslibrary On the bus and just watched a sixish year old girl walk into a tree because she was reading and keep going without looking away from her page. Good on you, random girl, I've been there too. Keep walking. Keep reading. ladybookmad she's going places wwwwwagnetic Mostly into trees.

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    Cope and seethe

    rouge-the-bat Follow cringe isnt an insult. if you find me cringe that means i have power blast while youre seething with vitriol at over you. im having a fɩ my very existence. whos really winning here
    rouge-the-bat Follow cringe isnt an insult. if you find me cringe that means i have power blast while youre seething with vitriol at over you. im having a fɩ my very existence. whos really winning here

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    I wish

    tooies Follow Jun 22, 2022 piracy isnt theft but i wish it was. i wish i could download a disney movie and then they dont have it anymore
    tooies Follow Jun 22, 2022 piracy isnt theft but i wish it was. i wish i could download a disney movie and then they dont have it anymore

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    Take it away

    flimflix Nov 22, 2023 brought some fruit for the potluck penelopepseudonym Nov 24, 2023 A dark, foreboding feeling overtakes you. You know this face, even in its absence.
    flimflix Nov 22, 2023 brought some fruit for the potluck penelopepseudonym Nov 24, 2023 A dark, foreboding feeling overtakes you. You know this face, even in its absence.

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    It makes sense

    goodoldfashioned loverboymp3 Follow Peter @petermarietoto Sledovat 7x3=21 has always been cl even as a 3rd grader i could recognize that Peter @petermarietoto Sledovat 8x7 = 56 feels scarily heterosexual i cant explain it but its very military family laura-the-locust Follow My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia
    goodoldfashioned loverboymp3 Follow Peter @petermarietoto Sledovat 7x3=21 has always been cl even as a 3rd grader i could recognize that Peter @petermarietoto Sledovat 8x7 = 56 feels scarily heterosexual i cant explain it but its very military family laura-the-locust Follow My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

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    To be fair, it seemed efficient

    paranoid-poppies reblogged chiefofboatwatsonstittymug 3h ago c3rvida3 Follow Oct 7, 2016 My boss, who is a grown woman with children my age, just whispered, "Oh, this is going to be so f efficient," before spraying Febreze directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough her guts out when it blew back in her face.
    paranoid-poppies reblogged chiefofboatwatsonstittymug 3h ago c3rvida3 Follow Oct 7, 2016 My boss, who is a grown woman with children my age, just whispered, "Oh, this is going to be so f efficient," before spraying Febreze directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough her guts out when it blew back in her face.

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    Um

    shadow-von-vamp 10h ago Follow it's so sad that bowser and eggman broke up robeatnic Follow 8h ago stop posting about my divorce shadow-von-vamp 8h ago
    shadow-von-vamp 10h ago Follow it's so sad that bowser and eggman broke up robeatnic Follow 8h ago stop posting about my divorce shadow-von-vamp 8h ago

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    Red flag

    froody Follow I think dudes who say s like "I couldn't love a child that wasn't mine" shouldn't have kids froody Follow "I could never be a stepdad because I could never love another man's child" another man's child? not your hypothetical wife's child? you look at a kid and see another man's trophy instead of seeing a human being? I'm not sure you could successfully be a parent to your own biological child
    froody Follow I think dudes who say s like "I couldn't love a child that wasn't mine" shouldn't have kids froody Follow "I could never be a stepdad because I could never love another man's child" another man's child? not your hypothetical wife's child? you look at a kid and see another man's trophy instead of seeing a human being? I'm not sure you could successfully be a parent to your own biological child

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    Good to know

    where-is-tom-scott-today Follow I am here in a personal h of my own creation Submitted by creepymutelilbugger #submission #spec ops the line
    where-is-tom-scott-today Follow I am here in a personal h of my own creation Submitted by creepymutelilbugger #submission #spec ops the line

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    Spot the difference

    baskipps Follow Before After HRT for cartoon characters that just does this #so cute honestly 214 notes D
    baskipps Follow Before After HRT for cartoon characters that just does this #so cute honestly 214 notes D

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    deku

    : Anonymous 228 KB PNG >Becomes a wagie 08/03/24(Sat) 19:39:00 No.684557286 >Deku loses his powers >Instantly gives up on being hero >Doesn't even try to be a quirkless hero that relies on gadgets or anything just instantly gives up after months of training and hard work >Completely ghosted by every single one of his "friends" >No fans, no bitches, nothing, despite saving the f------ world >Doesn't even get any form of character growth since he's still a f------ cry baby loser >Fast-forward 8 years of being a social reject and he's suddenly given a hero suit funded by his gay lover Bakugou after he forced the rest of the class to fund development alongside him >Moral of his story was 'You're either born talented and successful or you're a loser that needs nepotism and handouts' KEKYPOO >>684557402 # >>684557495 # >>684557638 # >>684557834 # >>684557901 # >>684558319 # >>684558330 # >>684558424 # >>684559567 # >>684559715 # >>684560030 # >>684560232 # >>684560813 # >>684560843 #
    : Anonymous 228 KB PNG >Becomes a wagie 08/03/24(Sat) 19:39:00 No.684557286 >Deku loses his powers >Instantly gives up on being hero >Doesn't even try to be a quirkless hero that relies on gadgets or anything just instantly gives up after months of training and hard work >Completely ghosted by every single one of his "friends" >No fans, no bitches, nothing, despite saving the f------ world >Doesn't even get any form of character growth since he's still a f------ cry baby loser >Fast-forward 8 years of being a social reject and he's suddenly given a hero suit funded by his gay lover Bakugou after he forced the rest of the class to fund development alongside him >Moral of his story was 'You're either born talented and successful or you're a loser that needs nepotism and handouts' KEKYPOO >>684557402 # >>684557495 # >>684557638 # >>684557834 # >>684557901 # >>684558319 # >>684558330 # >>684558424 # >>684559567 # >>684559715 # >>684560030 # >>684560232 # >>684560813 # >>684560843 #

    My Hero Academia Ending Controversy / Quirkless Deku
    deku

    They are not

    BASIC dashcon-two reblogged ▼ Pinned dashcon-two Follow I love you They're doing Dashcon Two Prepare yourself. dashcon-two Follow Yes, its real. Source (dashcontwo.com)
    BASIC dashcon-two reblogged ▼ Pinned dashcon-two Follow I love you They're doing Dashcon Two Prepare yourself. dashcon-two Follow Yes, its real. Source (dashcontwo.com)

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    Mario vs HOA

    S How l'a looking at my resident'a Toad who'a works at HOA and'a gets mad at me because l'a put a big bunch of'a letters on my'a house that'a say MARIO on it because it'a Mario house and he'a gets upset because it's not up to standard but l'a JUST got done carrying him (ABOVE MY HEAD) through'a a level in New Super Mario Bros Wii and l'a didn't even get him hit even'a one time. sm64mario They'a all call their houses'a Toad Houses but l'a can't call my house Mario House?
    S How l'a looking at my resident'a Toad who'a works at HOA and'a gets mad at me because l'a put a big bunch of'a letters on my'a house that'a say MARIO on it because it'a Mario house and he'a gets upset because it's not up to standard but l'a JUST got done carrying him (ABOVE MY HEAD) through'a a level in New Super Mario Bros Wii and l'a didn't even get him hit even'a one time. sm64mario They'a all call their houses'a Toad Houses but l'a can't call my house Mario House?

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