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74 Views • Created 4 years ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 4 years ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated 4 years ago

Anon describes the PS5 reveal | /r/4chan

) Anonymous 03/20/20(Fri)17:07:06 No.500015017 >Mark Cerny walks up to the podium >'This is it', he thinks. "Our chance to show the world what we got." >He clears his throat, and it begins. >'We here at Sony, thínk 3D audio is the next big thing." >Crowd murmurs. >'That's why, you must send us pictures and 3D scans of your ears." >Mark is sweating nervously, glad the podium can hide his raging erection. >'Trust me, it's very important. If you want PS5 to succeed, this is how we do it." >He has to stop himself from giggling, this long con plan to get millions of ear pics paid off. Now he has an almost unlimited database of his favorite fetish. >'Now we put microphones into a persons ear canal" as he says this, he uncontrollably c---, thinking of the ear penetration, how it must feel. >'T-to get the best harmonics possible and the best scans for out 3-3D audio software." Mark can't help but keep c------ at the thought of molesting ears. >He looks at his speech, and realizes the next part is what he hates most. >"Now, we'll talk about actual hardware specs." >'Lol", he thinks, "We slapped this together at the last minute just to seem competitive, shitskins will eat it up." >The thought of making shittily designed hardware and selling it to the masses only enrages his boner further, spurring him on. >"0-our GPU has a max theoretical clock of 2.23GHZ, and our l-lo speeds are incomparable." He c--- again, collapsing, the audience suddenly realizing what's happening. >People begin shouting, Cerny crawls feebly out, showing the huge c------- on his pants. >"P-please, no, I haven't even started about variable power ra-" >His body shakes in orgasm, his love of useless bloatware becoming uncontrollable. He can't wait for his masterpiece, a $600, 30fps, 1440p machine with the noise of a jet engine and the heat of the sun. >"SSD spe-" his heart stops, the dozens of orgasms causing too much strain. He falls flat on his back, his last thoughts being "36 CU's is equivalent to 52 CƯ's", s------- himself as he dies.
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4chan

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