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5619 Views • Created 12 years ago By Philip J. Fry • Updated 11 months ago

Created By Philip J. Fry • Updated 11 months ago

SO YOU'RE HAVING SOME DIFFICULTY CATCHING THIS F----- BECAUSE HIS BITCH ASS WON'T STOP RUNNING AWAY, EVEN IF HE'S SLEEPING YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?YOU NEED A M------------ GALLADE AND HOLD ONTO YOUR D---- CAUSE THIS AIN'T JUST ANY GALLADE, IFYOU WANNA CATCH ROAMING LEGENDARIES YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME BREEDING FIRST THING YOU NEED IS A GARDEVOIR. SO GO CATCH YOURSELF A M------------ GARDEVOIR, OR RALTS/KIRLIA F------ WHATEVER WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT SHE IS GOING TO GET F----- BY THIS GUY. ISO CATCH YOURSELF A HAUNTER AS WELLI THATS RIGHT, IT'S BASICALLY JUST SOME F------ POKEMON FANFIC. BUT WE'RE NOT JUST MAKING THEM F--- SO WE CAN FAP TO IT.THIS IS SERIOUS S--- MAKE SURE THE HAUNTER/GASTLY IS MALE, AND THE GARDEVOIR IS FEMALE. THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR NON-SEXY REASONS: AT LEVEL 8 GASTLY LEARNS A MOVE CALLED MEAN LOOK. BREEDING HIM WITH A GARDEVOIR MEANS HIS BABIES WILL KNOW MEAN LOOK TOO OU USE MEAN LOOK ON A ROAMING LEGENDARY,AND HIS BITCH ASS AIN'T GOIN NOWHERE IF YOUR HAUNTER DOESNT KNOW MEAN LOOK, RELEARN IT AT THE MOVE RELEARNER. ANYWAYS, THROW THESE TWO IN THE DAYCARE WITH EACH OTHER, AND THEY LL START F------ THE OLD P-------- THAT RUNS THE DAYCARE WILL GIVE YOU AN EGG. INSIDE THAT EGG IS AN EXTREMELY DOPE GALLADE THAT WILL HUNT DOWN AND CAPTURE FOR YOU ALL THE POKEMANS YOU COULD EVER WANT UNFORTUNATELY,WHEN HE HATCHES, HE WILL LOOK LIKE THIS TURD OVER HERE IMPORTANT: IF YOUR RALTS IS NOT MALE, THROW IT IN THE BABY PIT LIKE A DEFORMED SPARTAN BABY ONLY MALES CAN BECOME GALLADES OKAY TRAINER, NOWI YOU'VE GOT SOME LEVEL GRINDING AHEAD OF YOU. THE NENT IMPORTANT MOVE YOUR GALLADE NEEDS TO LEARN IS HYPNOSIS. IF YOU THINK PARALYZING A POKEMON IS A GOOD WAY TO CATCH IT, YOU NEED TO LEARN YOUR S---, CAUSE SLEEP IS TWICE AS EFFECTIVE AS PARALYSIS AT LEVEL 20, RALTS WILL EVOLVE INTO KIRLIA. CONGRATS NOW YOU HAVE A GAY ASS BALERINA T LEVEL 30, KIRLIA WILL TRY TO EVOLVE INTO GARDEVOIR. DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. PRESS B ON THAT S--- KEEP GRINDING UNTIL LEVEL 42, AT WHICH POINT KIRLIA WILL LEARN HYPNOSIS AWESOME. NOW GIVE THAT BITCH A SHINY STONE. BITCHES LOVE SHINY STONES. WHAT!? KIRLIA IS EVOLVING! CONRGATULATIONS TRAINER, YOU'REMOMENTS FROM THE GALLADE OF YOUR DREAMS GRIND THAT M----------- TO LVL 50, HELL LEARN FALSE SWIPE, HIS THIRD IMPORTANT MOVE. THE LAST MOVE IS UP TO YOU, BUT ITS A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE HIM TAUNT, SO HE CAN SHUT DOWN ASSHOLES TRYING TO USE ROAR OR RECOVER HEALTH CONGRATULATIONS TRAINER YOU ARE NOW THE PROUD OWNER OF THE ULTIMATE CATCHING TOOL! SO GO CATCH SOME S--- P.S. GALLADE IS, SO FAR, THE ONLY POKEMON THAT CAN LEARN ALL FOUR OF THESE MOVES IFYOU EVEN SAY SMEARGLEI SWEAR TO GOD I WILL COVER YOU IN BUTTER AND R--- YOU TO DEATH
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