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4326 Views • Created 5 years ago By Nigel the treasure hunter • Updated 11 days ago

Created By Nigel the treasure hunter • Updated 11 days ago

God's patch notes for the human race

Load all images (3/24) Anonymous 03/08/12(Thu)11:36 No.131967265 D File: 1331224587.jpg-(249 KB, 604x453, 1320707466201.jpg) So /v/, what would God's patch notes be for the human race (in the spirit of WoW) 2 34 5 i'll start Muslims: -explosions now do bonus splash damage -Prayer to Allah now grants the correct mana boost -flying mounts removed Blacks: -added bonus stealth at night -fixed speed hack bug -cotton can now be harvested faster -eating watermelons grant a health regen buff bug where blacks were not able to swim to complaints about slavery, all black players' hearthstones now teleport them back to Africa. This is optional and can be changed by talking to an innkeeper Jews: -added ability to access banks anywhere -items sold through the AH grant a 2% profit increase Jews are now 25% more vulnerable to fire-based attacks Asians -Peripheral vision decreased from 2 to 1 inch same reduction applied to penis length -skill boosts added to Engineering and Alchemy professions -removed ground mounts due to object collision Whites: -due to overwhelming complaints from the community that whites are too overpowered, damage against all other races is reduced from 200 % to 150%. Women: - Fixed natural armor bug; should stop random bleeding - Fixed logic not working Fixed memory leak, causing increased mass after marriage Server issues: -players on the Chinese server can no longer create more than 1 character -due to extreme lag on the Chinese servers, all accounts older than 6 months are being dropped. Jews transferring out of the German server should be warned that trains are -Mexicans exploiting a server transfer glitch into American servers will be banned phishing tactic used to hack accounts
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