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Jesus

758 Views • Created 7 years ago By Hypercat-Z • Updated 6 years ago

Created By Hypercat-Z • Updated 6 years ago

Jesus Christ is a rip-off

esus Hercules Parents: Son of a god (Yahweh) Mother was human (Mary) Parents: Son of a god (Zeus) Mother was human (Alcmene) Conception: Mother was impregnated without her consent. Conception: Mother was impregnated after Zeus took the form of her husband. Destiny: Was declared by his father as the ruler of all those around him Destinv: Was declared by his father as the ruler of all those around him Sin: Performed miracles to purify mankind of sin Sin: Performed great labours to be purified of sin Death: Rose to heaven after death Death: Rose to Olympus after death. Documentation: No documents written at the time Jesus walked the Earth refer to him Documentation: No documents written at the time Hercules walked the Earth refer to him Referenced in ancient Greek texts, compiled into the Bible. Referenced in the ancient Greek text Bibliotheca Beverages: Turned water into wine. Beverages: Sucked so hard on the goddess Hera's teat, she pushed him away in pain, spurting breast milk across the heavens forming our galaxy, the Milky Way.
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Jesus

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