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Greentext Stories

1723 Views • Created 8 years ago By Major Bummer • Updated 6 years ago

Created By Major Bummer • Updated 6 years ago

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Islamic Republic of Iran !!9a6XAa4mDeT 06/06/12(Wed)11:43 No.11844972 118451441184550711849237 P1020045.ipg (61 KB, 550x413) igdb google Alright I'll join in the shitfest with a military poop story Exercise in southern Iran, summer, dry and hot as hell. >MREs for a few days, get reminded to chew the gum and drink water often to avoid brutal constipation >commander tells us that water samples from the trucks with water had proven to be weird or some s---, so a few trucks of water are taken out of the equation leaders do not wish to abort the exercise, but decide to substitute the water with trucks of pepsi from a nearby town >everybody gets pepsi and are told to quit whining and that during a war we won't be guaranteed an abundance of water To avoid brutal constipation I eat very little of the MREs, I get headaches and get fatigued but I manage probably lost 6kg, feels bad man >6th day, I have pooped a few times but only managed dry nuggets but I still no widespread constipation or a----trauma in the unit >it went better than expected.gif week is over, head to town, hungry like a f------ gnu >don't even change out of dirty uniform, head to the main street >enter pizza place, order a large pizza with extra everything while they make it, go to the burger joint across the street and order 2 burgers >when they are done, go back to pizza place, stomach rumbling set up everything in front of me i look like f------ Tony Montana with that mountain of cocaine in front of him >dig into the food with the fury of a mongol horde >barely have time to chew or breathe >l am stuffing my face like a thai prostitute when a US ship is in dock >an unknown amount of customers lose appetite and leave due to my vulgar display everybody knows better than to interfere with the guy who is looking like an extra from the night of the living dead continued □ Islamic Republic of Iran !!9a6XAa4mDeT 06/06/12(Wed)12:14 No. 11845144 >> 11 8451482> 118455072>11849237 2211863759 >11844972 >finally done, sit back and just relax >zone out for 15 minutes or so due to gastronomical orgasm belt is too tight, lighten it that high pressure bubbling sound when your bowels are preparing to declare independence and separate from your body >again, louder, exchange a desperate look with the pizza guy l can see from his facial expression the gravity of the situation >he nods towards the toilets When I move, a symphony of low frequency noises comes from my bowels, a wave of panic washes over me as I realize that I will give birth to a plutonium roo choose toilet that is furthest away sit down and prepare for The Excursion >stomach is rumbling and bubbling, I feel a pressing need to s---, but nothing comes out >l begin to sweat profusely, anxiety and panic grabs a hold of me My entire body is sweating sweat drips from my nose Anus muscle is straining, my intestines are in uproar I relax and try push, this time I feel it, it is so hard and such a tight fit that my anus can feel every bump in the texture of the turd >suddenly it happens so fast continued. 贂 Islamic Republic of Iran !!9a6XAa4mDeT 06/06/12(Wed)12:15 No.11 845148 >> 11845507 >>11849237 car-window-550.jpg (28 KB, 550x366) igdb google 11845144 the plug that is holding in the liquid is out and the high internal pressure that have been built up causes a high pressure and high speed evacuation of the contents Like when you have been still for a long time and then stand up fast: the rapid bowel movement causes a change in blood pressure and I get tunnel vision, black dots start to appear before my eyes pass out for a few seconds, sitting on the toilet wake up, realize what happen and feeling eviscerated >i dont even dare to look in the toilet bowl, because when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back into you I wipe, flush a few times, clean up the place and stagger out pale and glistening from sweat exchange a look with the owner of the restaurant swe do not say anything, he nods, knowing that I had been through an exercise much harder than the one in the desert. >i stare out of the window on the bus trip home, not talking to anyone
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