Microcheating

About

Microcheating or Micro-Cheating is a debated slang term for behaviors and actions taken by a person in a romantic relationship that, while not explicitly "having an affair," may suggest interest in a person other than their partner. Examples could include liking someone's pictures on social media, engaging in flirtatious behavior or sending flirty texts, as well as watching pornography. The topic has been widely debated on social media since emerging in 2018, as some believe the concept was largely overblown and others agree that it is a serious issue in relationships.

Origin

On January 11th, 2018, The Daily Mail^[1] published an article about "micro-cheating." In the article, The Daily Mail interviewed psychologist Melanie Schilling, who laid out some behaviors that might suggest microcheating:

"You might be engaging in micro-cheating if you secretly connect with another person on social media, if you share private jokes, if you downplay the seriousness of your relationship to your partner or if you enter their name under a code in your phone. These are all signs that you are conducting a "covert flirtation" and keeping it from your partner. If you feel you have something to hide – ask yourself why."

Business Insider^[2] also covered the term on January 11th and tweeted about it,^[3] leading to discussions about whether "microcheating" was a serious or non-issue. On the former side, Twitter user @AlistairPDBain^[4] said that same day that "microcheating" amounted to secrecy and deception (shown below, left). On the latter side, user @theamazingdrewH^[5] argued on January 19th that monitoring one's partner for "microcheating" could be akin to emotional abuse (shown below, right).

Spread

Over the following years, headlines about microcheating, laying out essentially the same warning signs and leading to the same discourse, appeared periodically. Insider ran a second article about microcheating just six months after its first piece, on July 17th, 2018.^[6] NBC also covered it in September of that year,^[7] while Cosmopolitan covered it in 2019^[8] and Reader's Digest covered it in 2020.^[9] In 2023, many publications wrote about microcheating independently of each other, including Mashable,^[10] Forbes^[11] and The Daily Beast.^[12]

The Daily Beast article, published on September 22nd, 2023, appeared to be a breaking point in "microcheating" discourse for many online, and it trended on Twitter shortly after. One of the main causes was a September 25th tweet by user @BrandyLJensen^[13] that seemed dismissive of the idea of "microcheating," gaining over 430 retweets, 4,600 likes and 240 quote tweets in one day (shown below).

The tweet drew renewed attention to the term, leading to intensified debate about the legitimacy of "microcheating." For example, on September 25th, Twitter user @mcmansionhell^[14] took a quote from the Daily Beast article, dismissing it to mean "having friends is cheating," gaining over 70 retweets and 1,200 likes in one day (shown below, left). User @yumcoconutmilk^[15] also pulled a quote that day but argued that it showed hurtful behaviors that may count as "microcheating" (shown below, right).

Search Interest

External References